#really thank you guys for everything so far

[the-witty-pen-name]

The Love Triangle From Hell (3)

Steve Harrington x F!Reader / Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Synopsis: Following PART TWO, Steve feels even more distant from his friends- especially you; Eddie reflects on memories he has of you two; Nancy and Jonathan work together for the paper; Robin does her best to navigate what being friends with you and Steve looks like; you seek comfort in one of the only ways you know how- calling Eddie

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: messy messy feelings; unrequited love; cursing; arguments; crying; angst angst angsty angst; allusions to violence; miscommunication; jealousy; kissing; implications of smut; horniness

A/N: You guys are literally the absolute best. I am having the best time writing this- I'm so inspired by all of you. The love you have shown this fic so far has me overwhelmed. Thank you for your kind words, you have helped me work through some serious writer's block. Your comments and reblogs are keeping me going fr

This is unedited; please let me know what you think and if I missed anything I should include as a warning.

This series with be 18+ in later chapters MINORS DNI

His hands are tangled in your hair and he’s pulling you in close for another searing kiss. He can’t catch his breath, but he’s just so desperate to stay close to you like this. Your lips are so soft against his and your mouth is so inviting as you yank him closer. You whimper against his lips and it makes him shiver. He feels weak in the knees as you feel so pliable to his touch. You melt into his embrace and sigh happily as his lips trail down your neck. 

“Want you,” you moan softly, tugging his hair. He groans at the sensation. “Need you so bad.” 

“‘M gonna take care of you,” he promises, bringing his lips back to yours. 

“Love you,” you moan.

Before he finds out  if he says it back, his alarm goes off and he’s brought back to his reality. He groans disappointedly, covering his ears with his pillow- desperate for a couple more minutes with dream you. There’s a bang at his door. 

“Steve! Turn that shit off!” Eddie calls from the other side of the door. He’s yelling but his tone is playful. Steve hits his alarm off and drudges out of bed finally. Eddie has coffee made and Steve forgets anything is wrong at the moment. 

“Did she say anything last night?” Steve asks groggily as he pours himself a cup. 

“Um, not really,” Eddie replies, taking a moment to think about it. “I mean, yes but not about anything that we don’t know already. She’s conflicted, she doesn’t know what to think or feel. She just wants time.” 

“Okay,” Steve replies, leaning up against the counter. He takes a sip of his coffee. He needs to get to work. He can talk about this with Robin when he gets there. 

When you called Eddie, you didn’t expect Steve to answer. You thought maybe he’d say something- you wanted him too. But he didn’t. You couldn’t read him anymore.

Eddie was thrilled to hear your voice. He’d missed you, and he’d missed talking to you. He wanted that piece back as soon as he could get it. He reveled in the way his name sounded coming from you. 

“I’m so sorry,” you apologize, “I didn’t mean to upset Steve- I heard the way he dropped the phone down…” 

“It’s okay sweetheart,” he says compassionately. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

He’s met with a sad feeling of silence. 

“I’m happy you called,” he says gently. He hopes the sentiment makes you feel better. 

“I’ve missed you,” you admit, and Eddie feels like his heart might swell out of his chest. 

“It’s hard when the two people who you talk about everything with are the people you want to talk about,” you joke, and he laughs with you. 

“You can talk shit about me,” he teases and he hears you groan. He bites his lip, holding back a smile. 

“How are you doing?” You ask, changing the subject. 

“Much better now,” he flirts. 

“How are you doing, really?” You ask again, your voice sounding more fragile. 

“I meant, honestly- not great. But not worse than anyone else is doing right now.” 

“Yeah…” 

“I miss you a lot too,” he admits. He runs a hand through his hair, and it reminds him of how amazing it felt the last time you played with his hair. He’s craving that touch so badly. 

When you both were in high school, Eddie went out of his way to make sure you always had a seat at the table. He’d notice as you stood with your cafeteria tray, waiting for Steve to realize there was no open seat for you at his table. He’d wave obnoxiously to catch your eye and he’d smile at the way you’d get shy from the attention. He’d point at the empty seat next to him, and he’d grin as your eyes light up in realization you had a spot. You’d shuffle through the crowd and take your seat next to him. You’d take a seat and ruffle his hair in your hands. 

Eddie was always a creature of habit. As much as he exudes chaos, he actually thrives in having a routine. Don’t get him wrong- it’s never been a good routine… but it’s routine nonetheless. In high school it was a lot of the same. Tuesdays, Corroded Coffin played at The Hideout. He would get home way too late and never get in bed until close to 3am. Wednesday mornings, he’d sleep through his alarm and stroll into first period consistently 10ish minutes late. Thursdays he prepped for Hellfire, and then of course, the piece the resistance was Friday. Hellfire. An epic campaign that would run several hours and ensure the most recent shit week had been worth it to make it to that moment. 

He remembers that he was paralyzed when the group proposed to postpone Hellfire one time his first senior year. It snaps him out of his thoughts, as he was so wrapped up in you- and how close you were sitting. Eddie knew that hypothetically, it shouldn’t matter if the date changes. However, he couldn’t wrap his head around change. He hated it- still does. A disruption from his status quo throws off his entire week and it will take him too long to mentally recover. He knew that he came off as a hard ass, but he prefers it than trying to explain his mind to his friends. He had felt  his jaw tighten as he tried to rationalize with himself that it can be okay to switch it up. He unclenched his fists once he realized that he was making his knuckles white unintentionally. 

“Uh yeah, no problem. Saturday’s fine,” he was able to manage through gritted teeth. He relaxed when he could look past himself and see his friends smile, thanking him and happily chatting about the campaign. He smiled when he observed that his decision made everyone happy. That for him outweighed the internal struggle. 

He didn’t really listen to the reason everyone wanted to reschedule, but he picked up on after the fact that everyone is talking about the Snow Ball. He couldn’t help but recoil back into himself as his friends talked about their plans to go- who they’re asking, what suit they’re getting, what songs would play, and whatever. He couldn’t have cared less. Unless… 

His eyes wandered to sneak a glance at you. He wondered if you had plans- maybe you're hoping someone asks you. Maybe, he’s lucky and you were hoping that someone would be him. He wondered if you had a date. Maybe you already had been asked. It’s not like you had been aware of the way Eddie’s felt about you- unrequited feelings that tugged on his focus constantly since he’s known you. You caught his eye and offered him a shy smile and he could crumble. 

Eddie immediately averted his gaze, and focused his attention back on his friends. He ignored the way his face suddenly became so warm and he ignored the butterflies that were swarming around in his stomach. He couldn’t allow himself to dwell on these feelings- he knew that there’s no way you feel the same. Who could possibly like him? 

He felt a pressure when the freshman looked at him, one of them having asked Eddie about his own plans. Eddie sees the way the kids look up to him, they idolize him. He knows they think he’s cool. He can’t let that go just yet, he loved it too much. He needed it. He wanted to have them hang on to this version of him for as long as they’d believe in it. 

So, despite his usual distaste in school sanctioned functions, he did not want to allow the kids to think he couldn’t score a date. He could only blame society so much before they realized it’s actually his own fear of putting himself out there that cramped his dating life more than anything else. He then resolves that he needs a date to this dance. He tells himself that it’s for the freshman, to keep up the cool facade or whatever. But in actuality, he just wanted to ask you because he wants to ask you out. It’s his perfect window of opportunity. 

“Oh, I hadn’t thought about it, honestly,” you said, when one of the freshmen asked you if you had plans. “I’d been so busy with the play, I haven’t had a chance.” Eddie watched as you glanced over to Steve’s table. “Steve and I usually would go to this kinda thing,” you said quickly, and Eddie could see your apprehension despite your best attempt to hide it. “We’ll probably go as friends again.” 

He said nothing. 

A few days later, you called Eddie and he could immediately tell you’re upset. You’re doing your best to hold it together but he can tell you’re almost at your breaking point. 

“Hey,” you say, your voice straining as you try not to cry. “I know this is totally not your thing, but I’m kind of in a bind.” 

“What can I do?” He asked, sitting up straight on his bed. He was getting ready to locate his shoes or his keys- thinking you’re in trouble somewhere. He’ddrop anything to come get you. 

“I know you’d probably rather do literally anything else, but um, I have two tickets to the Snow Ball and I already bought a dress…” 

“I thought you’d be going with Steve?” He asked. You sniffled. 

“Um, yeah I kind of just assumed he’d take me. I didn’t realize that he asked out Nancy Wheeler,” you choked back tears. “I mean it’s not like that,” you lied, maybe not to Eddie but more to yourself, “we’re just friends. But I still thought He and I would be going together like as friends again- you know? But, uh, yeah- he is taking like a real date.” 

“I know you’d hate it, and I will make it up to you. But, I already bought the tickets and I can’t get my money back. It’s like not a date or anything, just like a friend thing…” 

“I’d be happy to take you,” he replied, sincerely. He can tell you were expecting him to fight you on it. When would you catch on that he’s willing to do anything for you? 

“Eddie, thank you so much,” you sniffled, still trying your best to keep it cool. “I owe you one,” your voice cracks and you hang up quickly before he gets a chance to say anything. 

Eddie didn’t really understand back then why you were even friends with Steve to begin with. Eddie thought Steve, frankly, was a total douchebag. However, once he actually got to know Steve- it was a different story. He couldn’t resent Steve. He loved him like a brother now. And once Eddie got to know the Steve you’ve always known, your feelings for him made sense. But at the same time, Eddie held his tongue for all the things Steve did or didn’t do for so long. Steve was good guy at his core, Eddie understood. But his actions didn’t reflect that in Eddie’s eyes. But it wasn’t his place to tell you that. It didn’t seem right. You’d known Steve so much longer than him. 

Nancy and Jonathan invited you and Robin to go with them to watch Lucas’ basketball game. You were excited to get out of your little apartment and support Lucas. Jonathan was photographing it for The Hawkins Post. Jonathan paced up and down the court side to get photos, and you sat up in the bleachers with Nancy and Robin. You were never one to go to school things really, but it was Lucas’s senior year and it was a big game- of course you were going to be there. 

“It feels weird, Steve not being here,” Nancy whispers to you and you nod in agreement. 

“Yeah, everything just feels weird right now,” you agree. “You and Jonathan are okay?” 

“We’re good. We’re doing good, um, still working through stuff but we’re going to just work through it.” 

“That’s good.” 

“Robin?” Nancy asks, and Robin turns her head to pay attention. “How’s things with Vicky?” 

Robin’s face turns tomato red. “Fine,” she mumbles, happily. “I’m gonna hang out with her tomorrow.” You elbow her teasingly, making her blush redden. 

“How’s it feeling? Being the best at all of this out of us?” You tease. 

“I don’t know,” she’s so embarrassed, it’s so sweet. “We both just like each other- it’s not that complicated. She’s so great.” 

The three of you turn your attention back to the game at the sound of the whistle. You clapped and cheered the loudest whenever Lucas had the ball. He tried to plead with the lot of you to tone it down, casting weary looks in your direction. You couldn’t help yourselves. You felt so proud of him. 

You decide to take a walk to the concession stands and get some snacks for everyone. You order four sodas and two large popcorns- one for Jonathan and Nancy and one for you and Robin. You fish the cash out of the front pocket of your jeans, and hand it to the kid working the window. You thank him, and balance it all in your hands to navigate carefully back to the stands. 

You see a familiar face coming down the hallway, sprinting. For a moment, you can’t help the smile that forms across the expanse of your face until you remember what’s been going on. Your face falls, and you feel so stupid for being excited to see him when it hits you again all at once. 

You don’t think Steve knew you’d all be here, because he looks just as surprised to see you. He stops and his sneakers squeak across the polished gym floor. He looks at you with an expression of pure panic. He totally didn’t think you’d be here. And you’re surprised he came alone- but of course he did, he’s Steve. Of course, he’s going to show up to every game for Lucas. You shouldn’t expect any less. It still takes you back. 

“Can I help with those?” he asked, gesturing for you to pass some stuff to him. You nod, and tilt so he can take some of the things from your grasp. 

“Where are you sitting?” He asks, and you nod your head towards Robin and Nancy. His face deflates. “Ah, okay.” He walks over with you, and he passes the items in his hand off to Robin. He moves aside so you can walk back into your spot. 

“Thanks, Steve,” you offer him a soft smile, appreciating the effort despite the circumstances.

“Yeah of course,” he mutters, backing away, lingering for a moment because the seat that’s usually there for him between you and Robin isn’t there. He quickly pulls himself out of his thoughts and just heads over to the next row of bleachers, finding a seat next to a couple of his old basketball teammates that are here for their little brothers. 

Steve can’t even focus on the game,  he keeps trying to steal glances of you from his peripheral vision. He wants to know what Robin said that made you laugh like that, and he wished he could have heard your laugh- but you’re too far away from him. He watches as your jaw drops at something Nancy tells you, and he watches how you cheer so happily for Lucas. He wants to know if this is bothering you the way it’s bothering him. You look like you’re keeping it together and he wants to know if that could truly be the case. 

Even when you’re carrying so much hurt, you give off such a radiance that Steve and he’s sure everyone else is just drawn into. Your pretty smile and your bright eyes are all he can think about- he only knows when to cheer when he feels the people around him move. He smiles when you stand up and pose, pointing to Lucas- then Lucas matches it, giving it back to you. He watches as you both share that moment of just pure joy, and his heart aches. He doesn’t know if he could ever make you that happy. 

When the game was over, you looked to see if you could find Steve but there was no sign of him. You all invited Lucas to go out for celebratory pizza for his big win, but he wanted to go with his teammates. The plan fizzled pretty much after that. Robin wanted to get home so she could call Vicky and Jonathan and Nancy wanted to head home so Jonathan could start developing his photos. When you and Robin are walking out, you see a familiar van. 

“I’ll bum a ride from Nancy,” Robin assures you, pushing you in Eddie’s direction. She waves to Eddie from a distance and then jogs to catch up with Nancy and Jonathan. 

“What are you doing here?” you ask with a smile. He pushes himself off of the hood of his van and walks over to you, his hands in the back pockets of his jeans. 

“I thought you might be here,” he quips. “Plus, I had to poke my head in- Sinclair is some big shot apparently?” he jokes, “I had to check out for a few minutes.”

“He’s really great,” you agree. 

“Was Steve here?” Eddie asks. 

“Yeah I saw him. He didn’t really stay either- I mean he stayed for the game, but we didn’t talk really.” You shrug. 

“Well,” he says, trying to optimistically change the subject, “Do you wanna get out of here? I could give you a ride home or we could get food or something- or even just drive around and not talk. I’m not picky.” 

He looks so beautiful like this, you observe. The sky is pitch black but the lights in the parking lot illuminate him perfectly with a soft glow. His hair is wonderfully messy and his smile is making it hard for you to breathe. Has he always looked like this? You wonder, astonished as it hits you all at once. He’s gorgeous. Your eyes linger, taking in every little detail you’ve overlooked before. He waves his hand in front of your face to snap you out of your trance. 

“Stop looking at me like that,” he tisks. 

“Looking at you like what?”

“Like you’re trying to jump my bones,” he chuckles. Your face warms, and suddenly you realize how long you must have been staring. 

“Ha, right,” you joke sarcastically, or at least, trying to joke sarcastically. You walk past him and get into the passenger side of the van and try your best to compose yourself in the few seconds it takes for him to follow suit. 

“Okay, sweetheart,” he says, turning over the ignition, “where to?”

“Can we just drive around like we used to?” you ask- the circumstances of tonight making you feel so nostalgic. 

“Of course we can,” he hums, passing you the case of his cassettes- a familiar and welcomed sight for your tired eyes. 

You watch Eddie as he drives, and observe the way the muscles in his arms flex ever so subtly as he turns the wheel. You watch his ringed fingers tap across the top of the steering wheel and you can’t help it the way your mind wanders. You’re so wrapped up in the way his hair sways so effortlessly and the movement of his jaw as he sings, you don’t even notice that Steve was leaving the gym just in time to see you both drive away. 

After a little while of aimless driving, and hitting up the drive thru, Eddie ends up parking at Lover’s Lake when neither of you are ready to go home just yet. 

“Eddie?” You ask absentmindedly, finishing off the milkshake he got you. “Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot,” he replies, also finishing his, but with an obnoxiously loud suck of his straw- determined to get every last sip. 

“Why do you like me?” you ask, cringing almost immediately. You think you sound like a middle schooler or something- you’re so embarrassed. His eyes widen for a brief second, contemplating his answer. He tosses the empty cup into the back. 

“First off,” he criticizes teasingly, “I did not say I liked you- I’m in love with you. Get your facts straight, ma’am.” 

“My apologies,” you giggle, holding your hands up in defeat.

“I mean- I love everything about you; always have,” he starts. “You’re sweet and kind. I think you’re beautiful. I think you’re incredible, and sometimes I can’t figure out why you wanted to ever be friends with me in the first place.”

“Eddie?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Would you kiss me?” 

Eddie’s a goner when you’re looking at him with those doe eyes. More than anything he wants to lunge across and close the space between you. It’s everything he’s ever wanted. It takes every fiber of his being to hold himself back..

“I don’t know if I can kiss you without knowing if I could ever kiss you again,” He whispers, but it doesn’t stop him from leaning in towards you. His hand lifts to hold your cheek and suddenly he’s so close. Closer than the two of you have ever been. His lips are tantalizingly close to yours when his forehead touches yours. A huge bang on the side of the van scares you both away from each other. 

“Give her time, my ass, Munson! Get the fuck out here! Get your fucking hands off my girl!”

Taglist:

@sunshinepeachx @downbear @fanlifeaamt @exploding-bonbon @losingmygrasponreality @skiddypiddy @andvys @djodirt @moonlightsolo @kyga01 @sheisjoeschateau @melaninjhs

[paigesbasketball]

Echos of the Fallen

Chapter 1: A ghost in plain sight Shadow the hedgehog x reader Warnings: cursing/slowburn

Failure. Ghosts. Revenge.

If you had asked me to describe my life, those three words would sum it all up. Three words that captured the entire meaning of my existence. I wasn’t alone; I had a trusty team. Sure, I didn’t tell them everything, but I didn’t need to. They trusted me, and I trusted them enough. They were the closest thing I had to family, even if my real family had disappeared. My life took a turn for the worse once they were killed. I was put into foster care, bouncing from home to home… No mobian wanted a sad, broken girl who watched her parents get killed. The last thing my mother told me was to run. I was frozen as I watched a G.U.N. agent take her life.

When I aged out of the system, an old lady took me in and taught me to fight. She said she was too old to have kids, but she was fine with having me. I was quiet, did what I was told, and in return, she taught me how to defend myself. She would always say, “I will never leave a child in a world where they don’t know how to defend themselves.” Years with her taught me a lot. And when she died, I knew much more. She claimed that nobody should know who I really was if I wanted a fresh start. So that’s what I did. I went to a black site and bought a fake name and identity. As far as anyone knew, the old girl was dead—she died in a car crash. My "end" was my beginning. That’s when I found the closest people to my heart today… or what was left of it.

Scar: She's a high-level fighter, not better than me, who was kicked out of the agency for "playing too rough." I loved her from the start. Unless she trusted you, she played by no rules. I saved her from being homeless, so I guess that earned me her trust. Zero: A top-tier hacker who used his talents for the wrong reasons—greed. I don’t blame him; he was in a bad place, and he thought it was his last resort. Too bad the state doesn’t take fraud lightly. He did time, but got out on good behavior after helping the FBI. Once he was out of jail, I took him in. He started seeing me like a mother, and I made a promise to protect him. He was only 17. Viper: She was our supplier. I didn’t know much about her, but she had been jailed, and she knew everyone, though nobody knew her. She helped me out of a tough spot, and I’ve never had a reason to doubt her since. She was like that cool party girl who always knew what to do. Nova: She was our chemist. The weird part was she never went to school. I grew up with her in foster care, and when she expressed how much she loved chemistry, we clicked instantly. But she never went to school... She learned everything on the dark web. Part of me wishes she went to real school to make something of her life, but I knew she didn’t want to be normal. She hated normal. Her mother threw her into foster care because she was "weird." She didn’t like typical girl things, and her mother couldn’t stand it. Good thing we loved her for it.

September 28th, 5:00 PM

“Guys, come on, we’ve got 30 minutes,” I say, irritated. We have a mission to kidnap a G.U.N. agent for information—Carson Palo. A mid-tier lieutenant working for one of the higher-ups at G.U.N. The timing couldn’t be better—during the annual fall ball. G.U.N. hosts this event once a year, desperately trying to gain more money for their corrupt ways.

“Yo, Zero, we on the list?” I ask the finger-typing boy on his computer. He dramatically rolls his eyes.

“An art like this takes time, ladies,” he says with sass.

I roll my eyes. ��You know what else doesn’t take long? Getting arrested,” I reply, matching his sass.

“Viper, how are we with G.U.N.?” I ask, turning to the cool-headed supplier.

“Looking good, Capt,” she says immediately.

At the Event

Scar and I make our way further into the event, both using fake names thanks to Zero. We spot our target, but not before I catch the eye of Shadow the Hedgehog. He stares at me, as though he’s never seen me before, and starts questioning the nearest person about my appearance.

I speak into my earpiece. “Girl, I think it’s time to wrap it up. A red-and-black hedgehog won’t stop staring at me. I think he’s getting suspicious,” I say, trying to get out of his line of sight.

Scar responds immediately. “Did you ever think maybe he finds you attractive? Or is growing old with multiple Chaos your thing?” she teases.

I roll my eyes. “First of all, Chaos are adorable, and second, I am not interested in anyone at the moment,” I say, scatter-brained, trying to move out of his view.

“Yeah, um... you trying to run from him isn’t working like you think it is. Just trust me, he’s hot on your tail, and looking hot, dare I say—”

I cut her off, “Get to the damn point.”

“Stop responding and listen. He’ll hear you. Keep walking until I say so.”

I follow her instructions, trying my best to avoid Shadow’s gaze. After a few seconds, Scar continues. “Okay, he’s seriously not giving up. I need you to distract him for, like... hmm... five minutes. Trying to seduce our target is hard, but I think I almost have it. The area you’re in is good. Turn around in three seconds.”

“Get me his name,” I whisper quietly.

I stop, take a deep breath, and turn around to be met with a handsome hedgehog staring back at me. Scar wasn’t lying.

Okay, five minutes. Four minutes, fifty-nine seconds…

“Hi, how may I help you?” I say to the grim hedgehog.

“Who are you? This venue is for G.U.N. agents only, and I haven’t seen you… ever,” he says, staring deeply at me, waiting for me to crack. Sadly for him, he wasn’t going to get that satisfaction.

“Well, I think the reason you haven’t seen me is because I’m new to the office,” I say smoothly.

“Wrong,” Zero’s voice cuts through the earpiece. “You don’t even work at G.U.N. Your persona is Danny’s wife.”

Shit.

“Hmph,” he mutters, looking at my name tag, which conveniently rests near my chest.

Fuck. I’m making Scar buy me an apple pie for this later... Two minutes remaining.

I slap him and raise my voice to draw attention. “YOU PERVERT STARING AT MY BREASTS! WAIT UNTIL I TELL MY HUSBAND ABOUT THIS!” I yell, playing the damsel in distress.

A few men rush to my aid and confront Shadow without even questioning who I am. Idiots... Men always want to be heroes without thinking.

One of the many reasons I prefer Batman over Superman. I wink at Shadow playfully as I make my escape out the back entrance. But a woman stops me.

“Ms., are you okay? Do you need to talk to someone?” she says, concerned.

I quickly form tears in my eyes. “N-no, I just need to be alone right now... T-thank you though. I just feel so violated.”

I rush out the door. It's been five minutes.

“Scar, I just put on a fucking performance. You better be done,” I say with venom.

“Yeah, I’m done. Calm your tits,” she says, letting out a snicker.

As I walk toward the van, I ask, “What’s so funny?”

Zero intercepts. “I don’t know what was worse—watching that ‘performance’ or watching an unscripted telenovela.”

He and Scar burst into laughter as I get into the van.

“Just erase me from the camera footage and shut up,” I say, taking out my earpiece.

“Is he out?” I ask Scar, curious.

“Like a light, thanks to this stuff Nova gave us.”

“Alright, time to do my favorite part. Interrogate.”

Back at G.U.N. (Shadow’s POV)

“Wow, Shadow, when I told you to flirt with a girl, I didn’t mean to violate them,” Sonic says, and Shadow shakes his head, brooding.

“I wasn’t looking at her breasts. I was reading her name tag because something was off about her. Yes, I admit, I initially followed her because I thought she was attractive, but I would never treat a woman like that,” he says, spitting with venom.

Sonic adds, “Ah, I believe you, buddy, but who was she? I’ve never seen her.”

Shadow rolls his eyes while sipping his drink.

“She said she was Danny’s wife.”

Sonic looks at him, confused. “What?”

“I didn’t further pursue after that,” Shadow says.

Sonic’s voice takes on suspicion. “Well, I don’t think Danny would care, considering he doesn’t have a wife.”

I nearly spit out my drink.

“WHAT!? Then who the hell was she, and how did she get past security?” I ask, confused.

“Well, wanna find out, buddy?” Sonic says with a grin. “An adventure with my buddy Shadow the Hedgehog sounds fun.” I scoff at the blue blurs enthusiasm.

All I cared about was one thing: Who the hell was that girl?

[saynomorefic]

2024 fandom review

Ty for tagging me @willesredlights @phneltwrites @grounded-parasocial <3

This is going to be a mishmash of formats I've seen, so thanks everyone for giving me ideas

Fics written

I started watching and writing YR this year, so 2024 has really been huge for me in returning to fandom and fic writing. I wrote 27 works (plus tumblr ficlets) and 117k words, by far the most I've written!

First fic posted in 2024: You Kill Me (WIP) 2024-02-06

My love letter to Young Royals. Anyone who has read this, thank you and sorry, it's deeply personal and my raw initial reaction to watching the show.

Last fic posted in 2024: Ghosts of Simons Past 2024-12-23

Silly little christmas fic!

Fav fic I've written: Let's take this overboard (WIP) 2024-06-25

My Mediterranean yacht AU! Ah my beloved. Thank you to everyone for showing this story love. It's still going, I'm just putting the pieces together. How do you pick a direction when you have so many?

It's been a big year of writing :) I haven't written creatively for about 9 years, so it's safe to say Young Royals and this community have ignited a creative spark I didn't know I had in me. When I was a kid my dream was to be a writer. Getting emotional here, but it's hitting me that in a way, that dream has come true in a way! I know fanfic is not technically professional writing, but in a way it's cooler - we don't get to just message our favorite "real" authors whenever we want, nor do bigger authors get to experience being in a club of writers like this! (actually I wouldn't know, but w/3).

Thank you to every single person who has sat down and read my little stories, you guys truly don't know what you have given me and how much it means.

Fics read under the cut <3

Fics read

I can't give a number, but I have bookmarked 117 fics since 2024-02-11, and it's safe to say I've read at least 4x that.. so uh.. it's a lot :''))

This is a list of favs after going through my bookmarks, and definitely not an exhaustive list of all the fics I've read and loved from this past year. Thank you to ALL writers out there for your amazing work <3

First fic I bookmarked/ read: objects in motion by Capiche

Last fic I read: Under the Mistletoe by @vvachillessongvv (so cute!)

Some favorites I've read this year:

Stairway to Heaven by @unfortunate17

the person responsible for finding young royals, and this was one of the very first fics I read! Heartbreaking and wonderful.

Something Real as Pain by @crownedwille

I love how this story directly engages with power differences between Wilhelm and Simon, and I'm so proud of these two <3

be the place you call your home by @phneltwrites

I love them so much. No one does post-canon like you! such a unique writing voice and characterizations to match <3

Faroe Gone by @groenendaelfic

Pining Simon. Pining Wilhelm. Remote island-farm-cottage sex. What more could you want?

We Left Footprints When We Passed By by @in-amor-veritas

One of the first long fics I read, and these two will never leave me.

darling, lost in the darkling woods by Ripki on ao3

honorable mention to Align, but this noir gripped me like no other.

Fright Fest! by @enjoythesilentworld

I adore everything about this, horrorific, whumpy and visceral <33

sleep, dream, you, repeat (live, die next to me) by @espejonight28738

This little gem! The Midsommar AU. So so good, so well written.

bittersweet ecstasy (I pick my poison and it's you) by wthbaby (ao3)

An amazing ABO fic that's more werewolf /fantasy than anything!

The initiation - sorry if we got a bit rough by @silvagrey

A really interesting look at the aftermath of Wilhelm's initiation ritual, and a type of canon divergence I've never seen!

A Glimpse of Us by @simons-purplehoodie

An early love, read this in April and was swept away.

Look at us by @willesredlights

So hot, so sweet, and bonus that it was a gift for me! <33

to color with two by @wildcalendula

I love the way they communicate about sex here. So tender and loving and lovely. Just this whole series!

The Way We Were by queerofthemonth (ao3)

Damaged popstar Simon. Sad Kronprins Wilhelm. Fuck.

Cock by @stretchoutfics

Just so much to say about pining and sexuality crisis Wilhelm. It feels so realistic, and I love their communication here.

One, two, three (Not only you and me) by @skibasyndrome

So much communication, so much trust, so much honesty. And the LAPDANCING? Also, thank you so much for every kinktober contribution, promise we are all very grateful <3

Where We Left Off by @gulliblelemon

So tender, they will literally be in my heart forever. It's time to re-read!

come closer and see into the dark (WIP) by @bigalockwood

I can't decide what's better, unique magical ghosts or juicy slow burn interpersonal relationships at the YR ghost agency. Love <3

losing a friend is the hardest part by psyanky on ao3

God do a love break ups and second chances. And everything psyanky writes.

We're Going to Be Friends (Lilac Grove) by wilmonlibrarian on ao3

I'm so in love. Borrower Simon is adorable, and it blows my mind how this author created this whole world.

I am awaiting you (WIP) by @toffeelemon and thatgayprince (pls help me tag on tumblr!)

I am so in love with Princess Simon and Wille here. Uadhakjsdha

i've got power in my hands (and it's yours for the taking) by @starvalisedham

The library fight from August's POV. There are LAYERS here, and I love how much is up to interpretation reg. his perception of Wilmon.

maybe now maybe here tonight by @dreamyelectronicmusic

I love a getting back together fic, and the writing! I'm in awe.

My Home for All Time by @hergrandplan

Amazing contributions for Wille's month! Every ficlet and morsel.

words written down by @caramelpenguin

Every single one. how do I pick? Thank you for always sharing these beautiful snapshots with us <3

this is the golden age of something good and right and real (Painter AU) series by @alltoowille

I couldn't choose bc the first part was INSANE. and then I read it and realized there was 50k+ after? Think I ascended. Thank you <3

and last but not least obviously by @grapehyasynth

Changed me. Changed how I write, and then changed me again.

Final reflections

I wanted to say I loved helping celebrate Wilmonhits5k on ao3, and big thanks to everyone who participated through fic recs and commenting.

I have to mention the people that keep this fic world turning through fic recs, making gifs, fandom engagement, and more! @simonsapelsin @youngroyals-events @kruemel8 @sillyunicorn @grounded-parasocial @books-books-smolderinglooks @impossibleknots @sillylittleflower and too many more to list. You guys are truly the best <3

If we have never chit chatted, feel free to come say hi! <3 Happy new year to you all, and here's to more YR magic in 2025.

[zepskies]

Aww yay!! I'm so happy to hear that. 🥹💗

so far what I love the most about this series-verse is how, authentic and genuine dean and mila’s relationship is <3 I think maybe I mentioned it when reviewing THC but truly their love feels so sincere 🤍🤍

Omg thank you!! What an amazing compliment, and now I'm blushing. 🥰🥰 With everything these two went through in THC, I wanted their connection to feel real and natural now as they continue learning each other.

I feel like in today’s day & age relationships can be so complicated because there are too many trivial outside factors, but for them in this universe, it’s really just as simple as two people who care a lot for each other making it work. and i absolutely love that 😭💗

Oh God yes, totally agree. 🙃 And there are complications around Mila and Dean, but when it's just the two of them, Dean gets her to remember that them choosing to be together can be as simple or complicated as they allow it to be. It's a choice, day by day, working together. 💕💕

they’re so sweet to each other :’)🫶��� even when he puts his foot in his mouth; as soon as he made that comment when learning about the chief I shook my head lol, oh dean 😂

Ahaha he's trying his best. Oh Dean. 😝

But he's so damn charming and adorable, she can't help but let him back into her good graces.

mystery dude better back up!🤺 I do not trust that man at all so far, he gave me such a bad vibe :/ for his sake he better not try anything because not only will dean protect his wife, mila is clearly not to be messed with 🤣 which brings me back to how much I admire her strength! I love that she will speak up for what matters.

He's being sneaky about it, isn't he? 😒 But YES, if Mila doesn't mess him up first, Dean definitely will. 💞 Mila's not one to take things sitting down either.

the thought of dean getting picked on makes me so sad because it’s like, classic bullying :((( I wanna hug him so bad. especially since it’s already been so hard leaving everything and everyone he had behind — the weight of hazing & hard judgement on top of adjusting to everything new must be draining :( honestly I admire his strength too i’m glad she’s providing him with the support he deserves 🫶🏽 because yeah even though he can handle it, he shouldn’t have to ✋🏽😔

Ikr? 😭😭 Dean doesn't deserve this at all, considering how hard he's working to be respectful to their customs, but it's kind of par for the course (he's honestly lucky they let him live). It will get better for him (eventually), but you're right, it is draining for him, even if he doesn't want to admit it to Mila. She's doing her best to be his support system. 💞

also, I did not expect baby x mato but you know what, i’m here for it 😭🙂‍↕️

omgg I was hoping someone would like that part. 😂😂 I honestly didn't plan it when I was writing THC, but it came out when I started developing Outlander. I thought it was a cute lil' tidbit, and it's actually going to play more into the plot later. 😉💗

I'm so excited for you guys to see what's coming for this little series!!

Outlander - Part 1

Pairing: Dean Winchester x OFC 

Summary: Dean Winchester has been stripped of his military rank, but he’s living happier with his new wife, trying to adjust to a new life in her tribe. What will it take for her people to accept him, especially when the battle for her heart might not be completely won? 

AN: Ready for some more Cowboy Dean? Here we go with Outlander Part 1! This is a sequel story directly following The Honorable Choice, where Dean not only saves the member of a Native American tribe, but falls in love with her. (She saves him a lot in return.) Now, he’ll have to learn how to live in her world if he wants to stay with her.

This sequel series will be 4 parts! 💜

Disclaimer: I first got inspired to write The Honorable Choice for @jacklesversebingo after a recent rewatch of Spirit: The Stallion of the Cimarron (with a tinge of Yellowstone in the mix). I’ve done a fair bit of research for this now ongoing series, both on the Native American Lakota tribe, and on American history during this time in the late 1800s; AKA: the Old West, during the American Indian Wars.

Jacklesverse Bingo24 Prompt: Western AU

Word Count: 5.3K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only. Suggestiveness/implied smut and spice, hunting (in the more traditional sense), angst, hurt/comfort, and romantic fluff. **Pronunciation guide at the end!

🐎 Series Masterlist || Bingo Masterlist

Part 1: Two Worlds

Her people call this river Little Cheyenne. It’s because Big Cheyenne cuts through the land of the Sioux Indians by half, but Little Cheyenne almost meets it in the south, stretching all the way up to the Black Hills.

Mila’s tribe has always lived near this river. Its waters have bled red during battles with other tribes, and sometimes during battles with White Men.

The White Men’s fort, the one her husband came from, lies farther down in the south. The tribe had to move their village higher north along the river after Mila returned with Dean Winchester, just to be safe.

On a cloudy afternoon, Mila scrubs at a bundle of dirty clothes until they’re clean. She rinses them off in the river and is thorough about her work, but she knows she can’t be here much longer. She has a stew simmering on hot coals in her tipi…

Well, the one she now shares with her husband.

Unconsciously, she smiles. She remembers leading Dean through the tribe, to the place where she hoped he would find rest. They stopped at the foot of her tipi. 

“This one’s yours?” he asked.

She paused, giving him another small smile. 

“Ours.”

Mila continues scrubbing, though she frowns when her fingers slip through a tear in one of the new tunics she made for him (even though he keeps calling it a shirt). The tear was made by a blade, or maybe an arrowhead, she realizes. 

The crunch of feet on the riverbed’s gravel makes her raise her head and look over her shoulder. Unease prickles down her spine. She braces herself for a familiar shadow, come to disturb her peace.    

But then she relaxes. She’s being joined by two of the older women in her tribe. Mila has known them her whole life, and so she calls them tunwin. Aunt. They both greet her kindly and kneel beside her with their own bundles of clothes for washing, but Eyota, the older one, has a sharper eye. She is their tribe’s medicine woman. 

“Your husband wears out his clothes,” she remarks.

“He’s been working hard training with Šóta and the other men,” Mila explains.

“He seems to be learning quickly,” says Misae. She has a more playful glint in her eyes. “Who knew that you could catch and tame a White Man. Looks like they are no different from wild horses.”

Mila smiles slightly, but it’s not genuine. She nods in agreement. “He’s learning quickly.”

She holds her tongue from saying anything else, even though she wants to. Dean isn’t a man to be tamed, any more than she was, in his people’s eyes. She aims to change the subject. 

“Do you have any good herbs or spices for wahonpi? I’ve had the stew simmering all morning,” she asks Eyota. Not only is she a gifted healer, but Eyota is also one of the best cooks, and she knows it. She nods and straightens her shoulders the way she always does when someone asks her for advice—and even when they don’t ask for it.

“Of course, child. What you need is…”

“Goddamn it,” Dean huffs under his breath.

The jackrabbit flees from him again, or more accurately, from his terribly aimed arrow. He’s an excellent marksman…just not with a bow, it seems.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong here, and he’s not likely to figure it out. Not by the way Takoda, Šóta, and the other men are laughing at him.

Dean resists the urge to roll his eyes. He knows when he’s being hazed.

These men are bare-chested warriors, each of them richly tanned under the sun. Most of them wear their hair long, half of it gathered high on their heads, or braided in some way. Šóta is his wife’s cousin, and as the Chief’s son, he wears a small adornment of eagle feathers threaded into his hair. His closest friends are Takoda and Otaktay. Both of them laugh at Dean the most, and in their language, using just enough gestures and body language that Dean knows he’s being talked about. They point at his boots and his brown Stetson hat—two of the only things he’s kept of his own that make him feel comfortable in his own skin.

Finally, Šóta goes over to him. “Good try,” he says, in his usual patronizing tone.

Dean knows he can’t punch out Mila’s cousin, no matter how bad he’s asking for it. Somehow, Dean manages to hold onto his temper.

“What’re they saying?” he asks lowly, gesturing at the two chuckle brothers.

Šóta’s lips twitch. He glances down at Dean’s feet. “They say your…shoes are loud on the earth. You give yourself away before the animal even catches your scent.”

Dean’s given up a lot of things, but his boots won’t be one of them. He wants to learn. He wants to belong here, in Mila’s world, but he also wants to stay himself.

So the men move on, mounting their horses. Dean rides with Baby at a plodding clip. Her black coat ripples with a healthy sheen. He thinks she’s come to enjoy the more natural surroundings and freer pasture of the grasslands, and he can’t deny, this part of it all feels right. The sun peeks through between the dappled leaves of oak trees, painting the ground in red, green, and gold. It’s quiet and beautiful here as Šóta leads the pack through the forest, just southwest of the village.

Eventually, he stops them between a denser thatch of trees and shrub. He raises a hand signal that Dean’s come to recognize. He raises his bow belatedly after the others though. He follows Šóta’s line of vision, and there is a deer grazing in a small clearing. A young buck.

Šóta signals at Dean. Try again, his eyes say.

Dean takes in a deep, quiet breath through his nose, and he takes aim.

He really misses his damn rifle.

Dean shoulders the sting of failure while he makes his way through the camp, leading Baby by the reigns. He drops her off at the large horse pen. There he feeds her and brushes her long coat, all while murmuring soft affectionate things. She’s still one of his only friends here.

But even she leaves him short to join her new friend, Mato. The two have become thick as thieves. Mato greets the black mare with a friendly whinny. Their noses touch in affection, and Mato playfully nips at her ear.

Dean raises his brows. “Well, that’s a little more friendly than usual. You guys start courting when I wasn’t looking?”

He walks over to Mato, who’s softened up to him in recent weeks.

“You sly dog,” Dean remarks, smirking. “Didn’t even ask me for her hand.”

Mato blows a hot breath through his nose at Dean, who has to blink, wiping his face.

“Now that’s just rude.” Still, he offers the mustang an apple from his pocket. Mato takes it from his palm, letting Dean rub his neck while he munches on his snack. “As fathers-in-law go, you lucked out, pal. See? I’m a delight.”

He wouldn’t be surprised if Baby had her first foal by spring. Dean grins at the thought, but it soon falls. If only his father-in-law were so easy to please.

His mind dwells on it as he starts making his way back to the heart of the village. Chatan, Mila’s father, hasn’t warmed up to him any better than Šóta or the other men. Tahatan is the only one of them who treats Dean civilly, and overall, he seems to be a good leader.

Dean has that thought, just when he sees the older man himself walking with a woman Dean sort of recognizes. She wears a long necklace made of blue beads and seashells. Tahatan goes into her tipi, even though Dean knows…that woman isn’t the Chief’s wife.

Dean raises his brows, but he subtly pivots on his heel and takes a different route back to his own tipi. Whatever he just saw, it’s definitely not his business.

“Honey, I’m home,” he teases.

She welcomes him into her arms, her hands traveling warmly up his shoulders. He bends to kiss her, soft and slow at first. And then deeper, sucking on her lower lip and teasing her with a sensuous tongue. She hums in surprise into his mouth, making him smile.

He’s exhausted and feeling low, but he doesn’t want to let on to her. He just wants to forget about his day, and hopefully recharge with a better night.

“How did it go today?” she asks, after he allows her to breathe.

Dean nods (and lies). “Pretty good.”

She waits for him to continue. When he just continues to hold her, she raises her brows up at him.

“Dean?”

“What? I’m workin’ on archery. Lots of progress.”

She eyes him in suspicion, and he knows he doesn’t have her fooled. Actually, she looks like she’s going to press him about it, so he releases her from his hold and goes to change out of his dirty clothes to avoid her gaze.

“Hey, uh, maybe it’s none of my business, but I saw the Chief go into some other woman’s tent today. Holding hands, bedroom eyes, the whole deal,” he says while he changes. He glances back at her and waggles his brows. Mila smiles slightly.

“Did she wear her hair in a half-braid, or did she wear a necklace made of seashells?” she asks.

Dean’s surprised that she doesn’t seem surprised, but he thinks back to what he saw.

“Uh, seashells. Yeah, she wore seashells,” he says.

Mila nods. “Yes, that woman is also his…the chiefs of my people are known to take more than one wife.”

At that, Dean becomes even more surprised. He finishes dressing and leaves his boots by the tipi’s entrance. His raised brows even out into a smirk.

“Well, okay. Guess it’s good to be Chief,” he says.

Mila’s lips purse as she eyes him narrowly. She goes back to stirring the stew with a wide, wooden spoon. Dean doesn’t see her reaction, but he does notices that something’s missing from his side of the bedding. He frowns.

“Hey, where’s my gun?” He asks Mila, who shakes her head without looking at him.

“I moved it,” she curtly replies.

Dean’s frown deepens. He touches her arm to get her attention.

“I’d rather you didn’t do that, baby,” he says. He’s made sure that she knows the basics of a gun well enough, but he doesn’t want to take the chance of her hurting herself.

“Don’t leave it out, then,” she snips back. “It shouldn’t go where we sleep.”

Dean tilts his head at her. He’s a bit confused at her tone, especially because they’ve had this conversation before.

“I have it there just in case something happens at night,” he reminds her. His pistol is really just for emergencies though. There are only three bullets left in it, and he can’t exactly go shopping for more. 

Dean realizes then that Mila’s mood has shifted. He approaches her from behind.

“What’s wrong, huh?” His hands find familiar purchase along the curve of her waist. He swipes her braid away and presses a kiss where her neck meets her shoulder. More teasingly, he asks, “What’d I do now?”

Mila remains tight-lipped, until she glances at him over her shoulder.

“Do you want another woman?” she asks.

It’s a simple question, but it succeeds in completely tripping him up. He blinks at her, incredulous and bewildered.

“What?”

She continues shredding another herb to put into the stew. Somehow, it makes the broth smell a bit worse. 

“You seem to admire the Chief for having three wives, so you must want another one too,” she says.

Holy shit, three wives? Dean wonders. The man must be a saint. Look at the hell I’m catching with one.

He can’t help but laugh, a deep belly chuckle that does nothing to take away Mila’s ire. She glares at him now, genuinely upset, and Dean knows he’s starting to shit the bed on this one. He sobers up and raises his hands in surrender.

“Sweetheart,” he says, in a placating tone.

Despite her annoyance, she allows him to hold her again. He plies her with more tantalizing kisses along her neck. He breathes in the sweet-smelling oil she uses on her hair.

“You’re more than enough woman for me. You know that, right?” he whispers against her skin. It earns her slight shudder, and he smiles. He teases the spot just under her ear, grazing with his teeth, then soothing with his tongue. She can’t help but writhe against him a bit. It stirs a well of desire in his lower belly, especially when he squeezes her hips, pressing himself to her from behind.

She tries to remain strong as she clears her throat, no doubt feeling his growing hardness against her. She starts to blush hotly.

“It’s all I can do just to make sure you stay sweet for me,” Dean says, a hint of teasing returned to his voice.

Mila finally breaks into a laugh. She reaches back to swat him on the head, but his ministrations work. Once she manages to escape from his grasp with a teasing smile of her own, she more happily serves him a bowl of stew.

Dean smirks. Fine, he can be patient. He’ll just have to wait until dessert, then. After a moment to calm himself, he sits down on the ground beside her and brings a large spoonful of stew to his lips. There, he pauses. The strange taste that assaults his tongue nearly makes him choke, but he does his best to swallow it down. The meat’s tough as nails, for Christ’s sake…

Hearing a spoon clatter against the bowl, he chances glancing at Mila. She sits stock still, her brows furrowed as she frowns. Slowly, she sets the bowl down and says,

“Stop eating.”

She looks angry at herself. Dean feels bad for her, his sympathy striking at his chest.

“What do you mean? I’m hungry,” he says, and gamely takes another couple of bites.

She just watches him. Her upset worsens while he tries and fails to cover up a hacking cough.

Finally, Mila can stand no more. She takes the bowl from him, making some of the foul broth slosh over their hands and onto the ground. She tried to make wahonpi, one of the most basic soups in her people’s culture, made from bison, potatoes, corn, and carrots stewed in the broth.

Eyota told me it was simple! she thinks in dismay. How did it go so wrong?

“It’s no good,” she says, her voice hard. “I will go to my mother and see what she cooked. She may have extra for us.”

She rises to her feet, and Dean quickly follows her. He catches sight of her tears, even though she turns her face away from him to grab her shoes. He reaches out and stops her with a hand on her arm. He tugs her back to face him.

“Hey, it’s okay. Why’re you getting so upset?” he says. “I’m not picky. I’ll eat whatever you make.”

Or maybe next time, I’ll try doing the cooking, he thinks.

“Because!” she blurts. Tears well up in her eyes and begin to slip down her cheeks, no matter how much she tries to brush them away. “Because you shouldn’t have to eat it. Because it should be good. You deserve to eat something good!”

Mila finally realizes why her mother tried so hard to teach her these things. She’s embarrassed, feeling sorry for herself, but it’s also far worse than that. Her heart hurts knowing what Dean has gone through, and what he continues to go through for her sake. The least she could do is make sure he eats well, and it seems she can’t even do that.

“Mila,” he says with a sigh. He guides her into his embrace. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”

She can’t allow herself to be comforted. She pushes at his chest to look up at him.

“You think I don’t know what happens outside?” she says. “It’s a small village, and people talk when they think I’m not listening. I know what the men are doing to you.”

Dean shakes his head stubbornly. “It’s fine. I can handle it.”

“You should not have to,” she insists, resting a hand over his heart. “You have proven yourself to be a man of honor. Tahatan said it himself. They should not be this way.” 

Dean smiles ruefully. “I can handle it.” 

He bows his head and captures her lips, plying her with a deeper kiss. The heat of it grows and becomes more than a distraction, more than comfort. It strips everything else away, until it’s just the two of them again, like the night she found him at the riverbank and held him until he woke up in her arms.

What they eat doesn’t matter. Other people don’t matter. All that matters is this.

He squeezes her hips and presses her harder against him, so she can feel every part of his desire. She moans into his mouth, curling her fingers into his shirt. So he guides her down to the bedding, where he shows her what he’d rather get a taste of.

Later that evening, Mila and Dean have dinner with her parents. Her mother, Weaya, is a gracious host, treating Dean both like a guest and a proper son-in-law. She gives him a special cut of braised bison meat, not to mention extra corn and potato hash. Chatan says nothing to him and eats in gruff, stoic silence. 

Dean can tell it both hurts and annoys his wife, but he has to focus on answering Weaya’s many questions about his life—mainly about his family and the farm he grew up on. In some ways, raising crops and rearing up cows, chickens, and horses there isn’t so different from the Lakota village.  

“You must miss that place. Your home,” she says. Dean meets his mother-in-law’s eyes, pausing in polishing off the meat sauce on his plate with a piece of bread. Chatan looks up from his meal, and so does Mila, who hesitates too. He sees the thread of her concern there, behind her eyes, so Dean hides the stab of sadness that hits him every time he thinks of Lawrence. 

“Sometimes,” he admits. He looks over at Mila. “But I’m not alone. That’s what matters.”

She smiles at him softly. Dean has the urge to take her hand, maybe raise it up to his lips, but he’ll leave that for when they’re alone. He doesn’t want to upset her father any more than he has just by sitting in Chatan’s house. Tent…whatever.

He’s glad when, after almost another hour and a round of hot tea, Mila finishes chatting with her mother and stands. It means they can finally get the hell out of here. No disrespect to her parents, but with so much change happening so quickly, Dean had been able to put Lawrence out of his mind for a while. Tonight he thinks about his mom and his brother more than makes him comfortable on their way through the village. He follows Mila inside their tipi, then starts up a candle while she gets ready to rest for the evening. 

Living here is like going back in time—before the lantern, before indoor plumbing and the water heater. It’s not a huge hardship for Dean, who’s spent a lot of his life sleeping on hard, dusty ground, or military bases with less than most modern amenities, but it’s still another adjustment. 

He undresses down to his pants and settles down to the bedding and furs, waiting for his wife. She kneels beside him after undressing down to just her shift. He lays on his back with an arm tucked behind his head, and he watches her unbind her long, dark hair, undoing the braid from the bottom strands. She has this concentrated look on her face, like her mind is far away, even though she’s right here next to him. He threads his fingers through her loose hair while she works, giving her a smile.   

“You okay?” he asks. 

Mila pauses. She lets her tresses escape from her fingers and reaches for him, laying her hand on his chest. Dean holds it there and finally allows himself to press a kiss into her palm. 

I’m sorry, is what she wants to say, but she knows he’ll only reply, For what?

So she lowers down and slips into his warm embrace, as if this can make them both forget the day. She rests her cheek over his beating heart. 

“You will never be alone,” she promises. 

Dean quirks a smile. Instead of answering, he brushes her cheek tenderly with his hand, and he closes his eyes. A few deep breaths later, and he finds sleep.

The candle slowly flickers out.   

On most nights, Mila falls asleep before Dean, and so his light snores don’t bother her. Tonight, even though she’s tried, she can’t tune out his rumbles. Or maybe it’s her own mind she can’t tune out.

She carefully maneuvers out of his hold and slips on her shoes. Maybe the moon will give her clarity tonight. 

She pushes open the front flap of the tent and steps out into the cooler air. She looks up at the moon’s white-blue glow, a wide crescent peeking out from between two large clouds. A strong breeze tugs at her hair and flutters her lashes when she closes her eyes. She crosses her arms when goosebumps spread across her tan skin.

“What troubles you, Kimmímila?”

The voice is steady and male, and all too familiar. Still, the intrusion startles her. Her eyes fly open wide and she jolts, inhaling sharply. She frowns when she realizes it’s him. 

“What are you doing? It’s late,” she says.

He steps out from the shadows with his pipe in hand. He smells strongly of tobacco. Her father and uncle smoke as well, but she doesn’t like it herself. She’s glad Dean doesn’t either.  

“Easing my mind,” he says, raising his pipe. “I see you’re up to the same thing.”

Mila shakes her head. She returns her attention to the moon. “Go. You shouldn’t be here.”

“Are we not friends, Mila?” he says. “Can’t we talk and share like we used to?”

His voice is disheartened enough that it earns her gaze. She sighs at him. 

“I am sorry, but I can’t give you what you want,” she says. “Don’t test me anymore.”

He pauses with his pipe in hand. It drops to his side, and he takes measured steps closer, until he’s looking down at her. Even with the litheness of his form, he’s still taller and broader than her. His long, dark hair is half pulled onto the top of his head, threaded together with a beaded leather string she made for him when they were children. He has used it ever since. The rest of his hair lays loose down his back, brushing his arms. 

“If you actually loved him, it wouldn’t be a test,” he teases.  

He tries to touch her cheek, but she guides his hand down. She shakes her head and steps away from him. 

“This isn’t a game,” she says. “You know I mean what I say.”

His anger and frustration surfaces, with a sharp exhale of breath and the crunch of his dark brows.

“You would choose the Outlander over your own people,” he accuses.

Mila’s gaze is firm as she heads back to her tipi. If he will not be reasonable, then she will make it clear enough to hurt. 

“I choose him over you,” she says. 

Then, she slips back inside.     

The shadow outside remains, just long enough for the moon to become clear past the moving clouds. 

In the morning, Mila goes to her uncle, Chief Tahatan. She finds her parents there in his tipi as well, all of them sharing breakfast. Her aunt passes around more bread and wojapi, a sweet mixed berry sauce, while her father is resting a broken ankle. He’s complaining again, even though it happened over a week ago now. 

“If you hadn’t let the horse buck you off, you wouldn’t be hurting,” she says sharply now. She’s become annoyed with his griping. “Or better yet, you can finally admit that you’re beyond the years of breaking young stallions.” 

Chatan is the Horsemaster of their tribe, and has been since Mila was a little girl, inheriting the position from her great uncle, the former chief’s younger brother. Mila knows, however, that Chatan is getting too old to do the harder work. Many years have meant many battles too, and they’ve taken their toll on his bones. 

An idea grows in her mind, and she goes to sit beside her father. She applies the poultice Eyota gives Weaya for him, before rewrapping his ankle.

“Father,” she begins, imploring him gently, “perhaps Dean could help you care for the horses.”

Chatan eyes her with a frown. “Your husband already has his hands filled with training.” 

“Šóta and Takoda can’t do it all themselves, and Dean has experience with breaking young horses,” she reasons.  

Chatan ignores her and hefts himself to his feet without her or his wife’s help. He leaves with her mother on his heels, even though she looks back at her daughter apologetically. You know your father, her eyes say. 

Mila frowns at his back, both frustrated and upset. When they’re gone, she heaves a sigh. She remains determined though. 

She goes to Chief Tahatan next. He sits in his chair of whicker and wood while he smokes his pipe. Her aunt has gone to help the other women harvesting chokeberries and wild onions. Mila will go there soon, but first, she has business here.

“Uncle,” she says. 

He makes a sound of acknowledgement, crossed between a grunt and a groan. He knows what's coming. She kneels at his feet and touches his hand in a sign of humbleness, reverence, and familial love all at once. 

“Uncle,” she repeats. “Dean has done nothing but try to please Father, but still, he’s being stubborn…will you talk to him? Please?”

Tahatan sighs deeply. “You must understand your father, child. The decision you’ve made affects us all.”

“I do understand, Uncle. But the truth of it is, none of you have given Dean a chance to prove himself.”

“His chance is right now,” Tahatan says, his tone more stern. “Have I not been gracious? Did I not allow him to stay and live among us?”

“Yes, but you continue to judge him in your mind, like everyone else,” she says. The Chief remains quiet. She moves to stand before him, holding his gaze directly. “Let us perform the Huŋkápi.”

Huŋkápi. The Making of Relatives. Her people first created the tradition to make peace between Lakota and rival tribes, like the Ree. It can even be used to unite extended families within the tribe, especially in times of marriage. There is no better time for it, she thinks. 

The Chief shakes his head. “Kimmímila.”

“Is he not my husband?” she says. “In the eyes of our people, this is the joining of two families, and accepting an outsider into our tribe. That is exactly what the ceremony is for.”

“He has no family,” Tahatan snaps. “It is not exactly the tradition.”

“Then let us make it new,” she argues.

Tahatan hesitates. He shakes his head and rubs at his chin in a gesture of long-suffering. He thanks the spirits that he never had daughters. While he loves his niece, he has never envied his brother. 

“I will think on it,” he says. 

Mila frowns, but she tries her best to accept this, for now. She thanks him respectfully and leans in to kiss his cheek. Tahatan grunts an acknowledgement and watches her go with another shake of his head, despite a small smile. Between her and his sons, they will keep adding years to his life. 

On her way out of the Chief’s tipi, she runs into her cousin, Šóta. He walks with all the comfortable cockiness of a rooster among his harem.

“Good morning, sister,” he greets, even as he playfully pulls at her braid and tosses it into her face.

She flicks it away and meets him with an irritated frown. She’s in no mood to be teased, especially by him. “You’re still a child.”

“Ho-ho, hey now,” he chuckles, and he cuts off her path by standing in her way, crossing his arms. “Watch it. When I become Chief, don’t think I’ll let you talk to me so disrespectfully, my sister.”

“Just because you will be Chief one day does not make you wise,” she says. Her voice is as sharp as the snap of a blackberry vine. “And don’t call me sister. You have lost that right.”

Šóta finally becomes serious; he realizes that she means what she says.

“What are you talking about? What have I done?” he asks, more earnestly.

“It’s what you haven’t done,” Mila snaps. “If you were a good leader, you would take your father’s words to heart when he accepted my husband into our tribe. If you were my brother, you wouldn’t let the men mock him. If you were a man at all, you would do what is right. You would be guiding him right now, instead of letting the others ‘train’ him.”

She storms away from him, leaving Šóta feeling irritated, but also with an uncomfortable feeling beginning to churn in his gut. 

Mila moves brusquely through the camp until she reaches the clearing edged by the forest. There the horses are fenced in. They’ve been given their food and water for the morning, so they’re rather frisky as they clop around and graze.

She looks for Mato. Baby is no doubt with Dean today, so the Kiger mustang keeps to himself underneath a large sycamore tree. His tail flicks when she approaches, and he turns to her with a sound of greeting. She allows her hand to run along his dun-colored coat as she draws closer.

“I need you, my friend,” she whispers. 

She holds his snout, pressing her forehead against his as she squeezes her eyes shut against the burn of frustrated tears. Mato bumps her shoulder with his nose, softly whinnying. She smiles, sniffling, and rubs his cheek. 

“Let’s go for a ride.”

AN: Well, here we go! Sorry for ending on some angst, but here we've got the pieces in motion for a fun-filled, four-part sequel. 😂💜 Dean and Mila are both struggling in their own ways while he tries to navigate this new world he's trying to live in.

And how do you think he's gonna react to the "mystery man" trying to win her back? 😬

Pronunciation Guide:

Šóta ("sho-tah") Chatan ("chat-tan") Tahatan ("ta-hat-tann") Otaktay ("ogh-tac-tay") Weaya ("we-ayy-ya") Takoda ("ta-koda") Mato ("matt-toe") Misae ("mee-sah-eh")

Next Time:

But she feels a shadow at her feet as she ventures through the village. They are getting bigger as a tribe, harder to move when they need to, and it’s more mouths to feed, but it’s also a good thing. Despite all the challenges the past few decades have brought, their people are enduring. 

However, she pushes these thoughts to the back of her mind when she feels a prickling down the back of her neck. It’s followed shortly by the strong hand that closes on her wrist, and the man that calls her name. 

She gasps and whips around. He is there, gently shushing her. She glares at him and tries to pull her hand out of his grip. 

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[opheliachoi99]

Meet Me on the East Side ❥𓂃𓏧

FEATURING : Yukimiya Kenyu, Itoshi Sae, Oliver Aiku, and Nagi Seishiro

ABOUT : They were your highschool sweethearts, puppy love to be exact, but time changes when you graduated highschool. Cheat incidents, Fell out of love, focusing on priorities, or basically just ghosting you out of the blue. But years past as your paths met once again, will you give them a chance?

note : this a multiverse AU, the plots were inspired by two songs ; Eastside by Benny Blanco, Halsey, and Khalid, and Knees by Bebe Rexha. Choose any of the two to listen to. Enjoy!

❥･• Yukimiya Kenyu

— Many students knew that you were inseparable. Kenyu, being the star player in the soccer team of your school, and you, being the head of the student council. He had many fangirls, as much as many fanboys you had as well.

You supported him 24/7 when it comes to their game, you were his number one cheerleader. Everytime you shout his name, his ego becomes unstoppable, resulting him scoring as much he could.

But then as graduation came, you were alone in the bleachers, the day was about to end. The breeze was so soothing, that you took a deep breath, waiting for the love of your love to come over. Since he was the one who wanted to meet you in that certain spot.

The empty soccer field gave you nostalgia, you knew you couldn't see him play in this field again. Instead, you'll see him play in a bigger field. You knew he's going to another city to chase his dream.

"Yuki!! You yelled "Baby! Congrats to us! We finally made it to the end of high school!" You hugged him.

"Y-yeah.." He stuttered worryingly "Is there something wrong?" You asked "I called you here to tell you something.."

You gulped because you were nervous, the vibe seem to drop "I'm breaking up with you.. I need to focus on my career for now.." He coldly stated "W-what?" You stuttered "Is it really necessary? Sure we'll be far apart but we can still contact each other! I don't care how many days you will reply, as long as you update me.. I understand you're focusing on your career but.. Am I the reason who's pulling you down?" He couldn't answer, so he went silent. You started crying "Yuki please.. There must be some other way—"

"I made my decision. I'm sorry. I truly love you but, it's for the best.." He caressed your cheek one more time before he walked away.

You were stunned, couldn't move at all. Everything happened so suddenly. Your knees went weak, and you cried so hard, that your voice echoed all around the empty field and bleachers.

— 15 years later —

You're now a CEO of your favourite organization, Blue Lock. It's been your dream to be the head of your favourite sport, well.. Used to be..

But you still grasped that dream because ever since, your passion was to lead. Even though you couldn't do the certain things, but you were insanely amazing in leading them. You graduated from Business school with latin honours, in which led to where you are now.

It's been 15 years since you two lost contact. The last conversation you had with Yukimiya was during graduation, which was tragic.

But you did see him on television, and he indeed. Became one of the best strikers worldwide, representing Japan. You despised him a lot, but deep inside, you were still that little highschool girl who was proud of him wherever he was now.

You still loved him..

Sure, you dated some dudes in college, but he was that guy where you would give up everything for him. Well, it's sort of true where first love is indeed irreplaceable.

Your secretary Anri, gave some news for you "I GOT NEWS! Ego brought some amazing soccer players! You should check their profiles out!" There she handed a USB filled with all the players' profile.

"Thanks Anri, I'll check these out! Would you mind bringing me more coffee?" She agreed and politely left your office.

You sat down and plugged in the USB on your computer. There were around 300 players in Blue Lock "Hmm they sure are talented players here, wow.."

You scrolled and saw the Top 11 best players in Blue Lock, and froze as you saw who was number 5.

"Y-yuki.." You gently pressed your mouse to open his profile, he definitely became more attractive. You analyzed all his personal info, it seems his eyesight was getting worse.. You suddenly feel worried, because you knew his eyesight was already bad during highschool, but it didn't stop him from playing soccer. You saw his favourites, likes and dislikes. You simply chuckled "I guess he never changed at all.." Then you stumble across the "my type" section.

Type : [ Someone who laughs a lot and will always watch over me, support me, and love me for who I am. Someone who's really good at leading me. ]

A tear dropped from your eye "H-he.." Suddenly Anri barged in with the coffee you asked her to fetch for you "Here's your coffe— Hey? Are you crying? Is everything alright?" You immediately wiped your eye and smiled as if nothing happened "N-no! I'm all good!" Anri had suspicions but she just brushed it off.

"Hey, we'll be meeting the top 11 later on, we'll train them before the U-20 tournament will commence" You simply nodded. "Of course, I'll be there." Anri happily left your office, you simply sighed.

"After 15 years I'm finally meeting you again..."

— Timeskip —

"Welcome Diamonds in the rough.. You made it this far.." Ego stated. "Today we'll be preparing for the U-20 tournament.." You noticed there were small amounts of players in the lobby, you simply whispered to Anri "I thought there were around 300 people- only top 11?" Anri whispered back "These are the surviving players. The rest, eliminated." You quietly gasped.

You tried looking for him in the crowd until the door opened. There, Itoshi Rin, Shidou Ryusei, Bachira Meguru, Isagi Yoichi, and..

"Yuki.." You felt relieved "Wait.. No.. Why am I like this- he's your ex!" You talked to yourself "Ex? Who?" Anri gasped "ONE OF THE PLAYERS HERE IS YOUR EX?!?" You covered her mouth "It was way back highschool okay? That was only puppy love-" You defended.

"Oh sure~ wait until I found out who is your ex!" Anri teased "As if-"

"Hey! You two! What the heck are you guys blabbering about?!" Ego angrily called you two out which brought attention to everyone in the lobby.

"Shit." All were eyes on you two "SORRY GUYS! You may continue Ego! Hehe sorry-" Anri pulled you out of the lobby.

But before you got out of the lobby one special person laid eyes on you "Eien..?" He called out, but you couldn't hear him.

( Eien means Eternal means 日本語 ) It was his endearment to you before.

"HE SAW ME-" You panicked. You felt nostalgia because the same feeling where you had a crush on him during your freshman years in highschool "This feeling brings back so many memories-" You mumbled "You still love him don't you?" Anri teased "What if I still am..?"

"BUT I HATE HIM!" You suddenly yelled "He dumped me because he wanted to focus on his soccer career!" Suddenly you had flashbacks and started crying. "Hey.. Look, I don't know the full story, but it seems you really loved this person.."

"I still do Anri, I still do.." She didn't know what to do so instead, she hugged and comforted you until you stopped crying.

Little did you know, some of the boys, and Yukimiya overheard you and Anri. "Dang, she looks so hurt-" Bachira grieved "If I was her friend I would've choked the dude to death "Hiori innocently spoke "Woah- isn't that a bit too far—?" Yukimiya defended "No-? He could've just taken the Long-distance relationship so what?" Hiori added which the other boys agreed.

Yukimiya felt guilt all over him as he saw how hurt you were..

"Had I made the wrong decision?"

— Timeskip —

You went out to get some fresh air. Your eyes were still swollen from crying so much earlier, you decided to head to the open soccer field nearby, and laid on the middle of the field. You let out a huge sigh "Gosh, why are these feelings coming back.. It's been 15 years. Move on dammit!" You fought with yourself.

There was a moment of silence until you got startled as you heard a familiar voice.

"That makes the two of us now, I'm glad"

You sat up as you couldn't believe it "Yukimiya.." "What happened to 'yuki'?" He asked "Do I still need to call you that? We're not together anymore right?" You suddenly went back to your senses, you were furious "Eien, I'm sorry..." "Stop calling me that, we're done." You coldly stated "And what are you doing here?! You're not allowed to get out" You added "Well I escaped, and followed you here.." You went silent.

"Hey, I saw you crying earlier, my chest was aching see you cry, knowing it was because of me... I deserve to be choked by Hiori indeed..." He looked down "You better be! I really hate you so much!" You angrily spoke. "I had a tough time Kenyu.. You left me there, I couldn't get to explain myself properly that time.. You left me without saying a proper goodbye.." You cried "It hurts.. IT HURTS! 15 YEARS! I should've gone to therapy at this point.."

"Hey, don't say that.. I totally understand your pain, I was a jerk that time.. I was only thinking of myself during that moment... I was immature, I'm sorry..." He apologised "Look, I know you can't forgive me, but believe me, ever since I broke up with you, I never dated ever again. If you saw my type in my profile, I was describing you.." He suddenly cried.

"I know. I saw. Why are you crying? Don't prey yourself. I totally understood you prioritizing your career that time, it's my decision to continue loving you until this day." You coldly stated "Can we start over?" He asked "I promise, I won't leave you like that again.. And this time I'll prioritize my career, and you.. Eien.." He cupped your cheeks "I know it's been 15 years, it was so long ago, but.. Can we?" He desperately added.

"Give me time.." You replied "I'll ask you out again, starting from the beginning.. This time, I've changed, I grew." He suddenly kissed you passionately, the breeze swiftly touched your skin, melted from his kiss "Fine, but if you'll leave me again, there's no more chances, I'll definitely move on, even if it takes another 15 years to move on." You both laughed.

On the corner bush, there was Anri and Ego spying on the both of you "Bingo! So Yukimiya Kenyu, Top 5 striker in Blue Lock was her ex.." "What the heck are you talking about-?" Ego curiously asked "Oh, nothing, I just witnessed broken pieces glued back together."

❥･• Itoshi Sae

— You and Sae were both an athlete couple in highschool. Him as a soccer player, while you as a gymnast.

You two were the star in your campus, everyone dreamed to have a relationship like you two, both talented and never declining face cards. As you both graduated highschool, the two of you were given an opportunity to your dream university, you in France, while Sae in Spain. Sure, both of you were headed to Europe, but you'll still be miles away from each other.

But despite that, you two handled the long distance relationship. Updating 24/7, late night talks every night, and daily messaging every morning.

But one night, you tried calling Sae. Usually he would answer in a millisecond, but he didn't tonight. You tried again but this time, he purposely did not answer the call.

Your brows furrowed "What on earth is his problem?" You sound pissed. A few minutes later, he messaged you, but your eyes widen from his sudden message for you.

Love ♡ : [ Hey.. Sorry for not answering your calls, I was trying to type this message for you. I'm really sorry for what I'm about to say to you, I hope you would understand me. I'm sorry but I'm breaking up with you. I can't have too much distractions. I need to focus on my career first, maybe in our next life, we can be together, without any distractions. I'm really sorry again. Good luck on your journey as an gymnast in Paris. I'm sorry. ]

— Love ♡ cleared your nickname —

— Itoshi Sae cleared his own nickname —

— Itoshi Sae blocked you —

You were too stunned to even let out a word. You read his message, again and again, trying to cope with his message he just sent you. All you did was to cry..

"Sae.. Why.." You cried all night, forgetting to train yourself for tomorrow. You cared less about it and went to bed and sobbed until daylight..

Weeks passed since your break up with Sae. You can't seem to keep up with training because your mind was too empty at the moment.

"Mon chéri, what's wrong?" Your instructor approached you "Why the long face?" She added "Oh nothing Madame! Just thinking about something these days" You covered it with a smile "Are you sure? You must focus! Your recital is coming up and special guests will be there, you can't disappoint them are you?" She replied.

"No madame, I won't." You finally got back to your senses and went back on track.

"I don't care about stupid Itoshi Sae anymore, if he's focusing on his career, why shouldn't I?"

— 8 years later —

Roses, tulips and confetti rain over you as you bowed after your grand performance, applauses were echoing the whole auditorium.

As the curtains closed, you let out a huge sigh "What a night!" You went back stage and got greeted by the staff "Mon chéri! You did amazing! I'm so proud of you for making this far! From performing, to competing soon enough! Your tournament is next week, are you ready?" Your instructor proudly asked "Yes! Of course madame! I should bring my fiancé too, if that's alright with you?" You asked.

"Of course! A little support couldn't hurt right?" She chuckled. You smiled in relief, I'll be telling him madame! Thank you so much!" "As you should! That man certainly inspired you does he?" You happily nodded.

— Timeskip —

"Finally! It's over, we won again!! We won against France's star soccer team!" Charles proudly cheered "Indeed, I could use a warm dip in the bathtub tonight with the view of the eiffel tower" Shidou added "I'm going to watch the gymnast competition tonight!" Ness also added "Competition? Tonight? Interesting, I'll come with!!" Charles replied "Hmm, I suppose I should watch too, I love flexible women" Shidou cheekily laughed.

"What about you Sae, aren't you tagging along?" Kaiser asked "No thanks, I should train instead." Sae coldly stated "AWW C'MON BRO!! Just this one time! We deserve this, right everyone?" Ness pleaded. "And besides, the star gymnast is competing too! She'll surely win! I saw her tricks and wow she's spectacular!" Ness added "We should go!" Charles said as everyone followed.

Kaiser's phone rang "Oh, gotta answer this, you should come along Sae, my fiancé is competing too. You should see her, she's too perfect" Kaiser said with admiration with his eyes. "I see, sure, I'll try to come along" Sae answered "Good, gotta go.. Hello? liebe? Yes?" Kaiser closed the door as he left.

Ness was preparing to go but Sae stopped him "Hey, may I know who's the star gymnast who is competing tonight?" "Oh!! Wait here!" Ness showed a video of you performing. Sae paused for a moment. "She's... She's m—"

"Magnificent right!?" Ness interrupted, now let's go! He said as he pulled Sae out of the locker room.

"She was once mine..."

— Timeskip —

You took a deep breath as the whole gymnasium was yours to perform on "You can do it Mon chéri, I know you can!" Your instructor cheered "Thank you madame!" You finally had the confidence to come out the gymnasium and showed yourself, you were glimmering, as your shiny fitting dress has reflected the spotlight.

"Here goes nothing" You motivated yourself.

"THAT'S HER!!! WOOO!!" Ness screamed "Wow, isn't she a beauty~" Shidou flirtly spoke "Damn- she's really flexible, does she even have bones?" Charles jokingly said "What the fuck?" Sae suddenly spoke which startled Shidou and Charles "Chill bro- what are you on" Shidou defended "Yeah- you sounded like you're her boyfriend" Ness and Charles added.

"BECAUSE I WAS." They went silent "Be for real right now-" Charles spoke "No way-" Ness added "Psh- you're joking" Shidou rolled his eyes.

"I'll prove it. Watch me." Sae sat back and continuously watching you.

"Did he went cuckoo?" Shidou asked which Ness and Charles only shrugged.

Sae admired you so much, he reminisced the time when you two were just in highschool.

— Flashback —

"Love! Haha! Look!" You called out to Sae "Okay, wait.. Okay now!" He yelled.

You showed your triple flips then a smooth landing with a split. "How'd I do?" "WOO!! THAT'S MY GIRL! You did so well love! I can't wait to see you performing like that during nationals!" You pounced at him causing you two to fall on the ground.

Laughter echoed the field, you two were so happy, you were on top of Sae, faces inches away from each other. "Let's chase our dreams okay?" You said "Of course my love let's chase them together." He replied then passionately kissed you, you kissed back. It was one of the most romantic moments you two ever made.

— Present time —

He saw you successfully landed on the last move you did and bowed. You looked around the gymnasium, everyone cheered for you, he smiled. He knew he was proud of you. You saw Shidou, Ness, and Charles cheering, so you did the same.

The three turned to you and thought you were weird, but brushed it off after.

You were the last contender. It was time to announce the winners. It was intense, but you remained calm and confident.

On the other hand, Sae was worried and nervous for you, he prayed you would get the gold medal, if you did, then you will be representing France for the internationals.

Everyone cheered as your name was announced as the first place, you were speechless, you had mixed emotions.

You got up on the podium feeling overwhelmed. Everyone chanted your name, you looked around, but your eyes landed on a familiar person.

No it can't be..

You saw Sae happily jumping with his teammates yelling "She did it!!" You didn't know what to feel. But joy overshadowed all your feelings at the moment.

"Wait- Where's Kaiser?" Ness asked.

— Timeskip —

As you were wiping your sweat with a face towel, Sae approached you, which startled you.

"Hey... Congrats.. I-I'm so proud of you.." He stuttered, feeling awkward from the conversation.

"Sae?" You paused "What are you doing here?" Your brows furrowed again, you hated seeing him at this time "We had a game here in France, and my teammates wanted to watch your competition, I didn't want come along, not until Ness showed me one of your performance, you did really good.."

"Don't do this to me Sae, showing up out of the blue after you cut ties with me 8 years ago.. What are you on?" You spoke as you felt pissed.

"Hey, look.. I'm sorry okay? I wasn't thinking straight that time, I was too stressed.. I couldn't tell you what happened to me that time." He defended.

"No need, I moved on. But I'm really thankful to see you tonight, even though it was unexpected." You chuckled "I'm too immature to long a grudge on you right?" You added, he awkwardly laughed "Yeah.." He cleared his throat, "Hey, uhm- how were you? Should we have dinner sometime?"

You simply chuckled "I would but, I couldn't. My fiancé might burn you to pieces, and I wouldn't want that" "Fiancé—?" Sae asked.

"Liebe, ready to go— Sae? What are you doing here? I thought you wouldn't come?" Kaiser entered as he was playing with his car keys. "Kaiser? Wait.."

"Oh? You two know each other?" You asked "Yes schatz, Sae is my teammate. I haven't mentioned, sorry liebe" Kaiser answered "How 'bout you Sae? How did you know my fiancé? Quite unexpected honestly" Kaiser asked.

"Oh.. Uhm- we go to the same highschool before.. Yeah.." Sae coldly replied.

You went silent, knowing that your ex and your soon-to-be husband is on the same soccer team. You decided to take a deep breath and cleared your throat "So~ uhm.. I guess we should get going Micha? Can you grab my bag? Thanks" "Oh sure liebe, I go get it" Kaiser left you and Sae.

"So..."

"So..."

You both went silent. "Well, at least we finally reached our dream right? Me, being the star gymnast, and you as a star midfielder, and overall your team itself is famous, right?" You awkwardly laugh.

"I'm... Too late am i?" Sae looked at you desperately "Sae.. I-"

"I'm so sorry I left you.. I'm glad Kaiser is treating you better now.. I wanted to be him again, but.. I guess I was too late" He forced a smile.

"I'm sorry Sae.."

"Let's go schatz? See you Sae, call me if we're training tomorrow hmm?" Kaiser said as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

You turned back seeing Sae looking so lost. You mouthed 'thank you, and I'm sorry..'

Sae just watch you disappear from the room, letting out a smile but tears were rolling down his cheeks.

"I love you.. But you're not mine anymore.."

❥･• Oliver Aiku

— You two were an amazing duo, but sometimes you two couldn't get along as well. Some say you were in a toxic relationship, but you didn't listen because you were so inlove with him.

But there was one time where Aiku invited you to go to a KTV bar with him. You simply agreed cause you thought it would be another date.

You wore a beautiful blue satin dress, excitedly you messaged him you were on the way "I can't wait to see him again!"

— Timeskip —

You arrived at the KTV bar and asked the counter which room was Number 308, she happily led you to that room. "Here's the room miss!" "Thank you so much!"

As you were about to enter the room, you peeked on the small window of the door. There you saw disco lights and the room was dim, but you clearly saw Aiku— with another girl..

Your head was boiling as you barged in the room "OLIVER AIKU! WHAT IN THE FUCKERY IS THIS?" You yelled.

"Woah- my love chill, this is Denise. Denise, this is my girlfriend" It seems Aiku was drunk. "Girlfriend? I thought I was your girlfriend?" The girl looked confused.

"YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME?!?! I DID NOT EXPECT TO BE IN A POLY RELATIONSHIP!" You cried. "We're over Aiku." Before you could walk out, he grabbed your wrist "Wait baby! Don't go! I can explain—" A huge slap landed on Aiku's face "Don't TOUCH me!" You flicked your arm and left the KTV room..

As you left the room, you cried. You couldn't believe what had happened just now..

"They were right, I was in a toxic relationship... I was too blind to see it.." You ran out of the venue and went home.

— 6 years later —

You just got home from work, exhausted. You were working full-time in the office, but your exhaustion disappeared as your 6-year old son ran to you. "Mama!!"

"Aww my baby Ollie, how are you? Did the maid gave you dinner?" You hugged him.

"She did mama! But I don't want to eat without you, I want to eat McDonald's with you! Please please!" You chuckled "Well, I am hungry too so~ let's go?" "Yay!!" He cutely cheered.

— Some time later —

You two were walking home from an alley, bringing take-out McDonald's when you see two men approaching you, they weren't friendly.

"Ollie get behind me." You sternly said as your son went back "Mama... I'm scared.." They were about to steal from you but someone pounced them from behind. "Look out!"

He fought the two men with ease, but at the same time he got injured. "Oh my goodness are you oka— OLIVER?!?!"

"I'm fine— MY LOVE?" You smacked him with your heavy shoulder bag which passed him out. "Oh shit- why did I do that-"

"Mama..? Why did you hit Mr. Hero? He saved us but you hurt him.." Ollie tugged your jacket. "I'm sorry baby, mama seemed to have reflexes-"

You decided to bring Aiku to your home, you carried him, and dang he was heavy. Your son kept laughing all the way home.

— Timeskip —

Aiku finally woke up in a place where he's unfamiliar with "Shit- where am I-?" Ollie was peaking in the door from the outside, checking up on Aiku "Hey little guy, don't be scared, do you know where I am?" Aiku asked gently.

"You're in our house Mr. Hero, mama placed you in the guest room, you were badly hit by mama, I'm sorry mama hit you.." Ollie answered.

Aiku simply chucked "It's okay, little one, your mama must be scared that's why, by the way what's your name?"

"Ollie" He said as he gave you a piece of chicken nugget. "Eat." Aiku gladly accepted the kid's nugget. He noticed Ollie's eyes were just like his, "Hey little one, look, your eyes look like mine, see?" Ollie gasped, you're right! I have heter— het— hetetormia!" Aiku laughed "Heterochemia little one, it's okay, nice try!" The both of them laughed. "Where's your papa?"

"I don't know, mama said, my real papa is nowhere to be found, but, I have a new papa!" Ollie happily said. Aiku went silent, "Really? What happened to your real papa?"

"I don't know, mama does not tell me.." Aiku went silent again.

"Mama!! Mr. Hero is awake!" Ollie happily went to you "Yes, I can see that baby.. Go to auntie maid first if that's okay, I need to talk to "Mr. Hero" here hmm?" You stated "Okay!" Ollie ran downstairs.

"T-thank you—"

"What were you doing in that alleyway?" You inserted "I was gonna ask you that? What were you doing in that alleyway with a child?!? That place is dangerous!"

"It was the shortest way home alright?! I'm too tired but my son wanted McDonald's with me, how could I say no?"

"But you should've at least rode a taxi back-?" "Why are you so concerned Aiku?"

"Answer me. Is that my child?"

You went silent. "Tell me please.."

"And what if he's yours? We're way over now Aiku, thank you for saving us, you may now leave the house now." Aiku grabbed your wrist "Pfft, this is nostalgic isn't it?" You flicked your arm "Nostalgia my ass, now leave."

"Please, if he's my son, can I make it up to him at least? Since when did you get pregnan—"

"THE MOMENT YOU LEFT ME." You both went silent. "H-how?"

"After I broke up with you, as soon as I got home, I felt sick." He went silent

"And when I had a gut feeling, I took the test. And it was positive.. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I SUFFERED RAISING A CHILD ALONE.. I never thought of abortion, never ever! Even if the father of the child was a jerk!"

"I-I'm sorr—"

"But I'm happily engaged to someone else now, who's a father figure to Ollie. We're totally happy, he bought a house for us to settle in, got me into a perfect job, a tiring one but still thankful. And a loving man." You cried. Aiku couldn't let out a word.

"My life had been a roller coaster ride, but Ollie was a blessing to me. And I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world."

"Can I at least... Be responsible for the child? For making it up?"

"I'm home!" A man called out from downstairs "That's him." You said as you went out of the room, and soon Aiku followed.

"Papa!!!" Ollie ran towards Barou and he carried Ollie. "How's my sweet boy doing?"

"Me and mama almost got snatched but luckily Mr. Hero saved us!" Ollie happily reported.

"Mr. Hero?" Barou asked as he landed his eyes on you and Aiku "Honey.." Barou knew between you and Aiku

"Love, I know.. Oliver, thank you, for everything. But I think you should leave.." You sternly said. "But I don't want Mr. Hero to go!!" Ollie cried. "It's okay little one, I have to go.. Call me Uncle Oliver, okay?" He said as he pats your son's head.

"Okay Uncle Oliver! When can we see each other again?" Ollie innocently asked.

"Soon, little one. Soon.." Aiku said as he bid you and Barou farewell and left.

As Aiku got out from the house, he looked back and saw your shadows from the window looking so lively, like a small but perfect family.

"I'm glad your doing well, my love.."

❥･• Nagi Seishiro

— You two are quite known as gamer couples during highschool, it may seem cliché, but for you, it's heaven. Imagine, playing your favourite games with the love of your life.

Nagi seems to be the lazy type but he is really good with hygiene and cleanliness. And he's really good in taking care of you. You didn't know why people call him 'lazy',  when he's with you, he's the opposite of lazy, I mean he does act like a sloth, but he was never lazy in your eyes. He always come over to your apartment to play games with you, sometimes study date.

You also got used to his way of messaging you, he takes so long to reply. Sometimes he ghosts you, but when he's with you personally, he's really "boyfriend material".

Though recently, he soon joined soccer with Reo, his best friend. He was effortlessly good at it, I mean- he's the boyfriend who can do it all. You were proud of it, and you weren't sad at all, because he always found a way to make time with you by playing games.

But one time, you noticed he wasn't online. Even the online games, RPG, all offline.

"Huh- that's weird" You tried calling him through number and social medias but no answers. You gaslighted yourself maybe he was busy. But those "busy days" you thought Nagi had went for over 2 months now.

You felt betrayed, he ghosted you for 2 months now. Which was weird, because even Reo, you couldn't contact him.

You had enough, you went to the sports office in your school, and ask where Nagi had gone. Their coach said that they had an invitation from a certain soccer school. But usually Nagi would update you if ever where he was. You overthought, maybe the place they went took their devices, which is funny- because it would look like they were prisoned.

— 2 years later —

It's been 2 years since Nagi ghosted you, you're finally a freshman in college. You graduated without him, you felt sad but you had to continue. You never held a grudge over Nagi, because you still love him.

"Wherever you are right now Shiro.. Always remember I am here supporting you from afar.." You spoke to yourself as you felt the breeze brushed your skin.

You're a college student currently taking Computer Science. It's been you and Nagi's dream to develop a game, but you two couldn't figure out what game would you develop. So you decided to study about computer logic for now..

— Timeskip —

You overheard your blockmates about this "Blue Lock", everyone was so hype about it. You were curious so you asked one of them "Uhm— excuse me.. What's this Blue Lock you guys are talking about-?"

"Oh! It's a team of soccer players who are playing against U-20, you know Sendou? Omg he's so hot!" They squealed "Soccer?" You repeated "You heard that right!" The other one replied.

Hmm.. Blue Lock.. Interesting..

— Timeskip —

As you got home, you opened your laptop and checked this Blue Lock thing everyone was so hyped about.

It showed soccer players, who were indeed going to play againt the other team called U-20.

You scrolled through the player's profile, and..

You gasped. "NAGI!?!"

You pressed his profile to see if it was really him. "It really is him... He's going to be playing against the U-20, and he's part of the Top 11 in blue lock? Wow, Shiro... I never knew you went this far.."

Then you saw the other players who will be back-up players for the game, then you saw Reo.. "Mikage— REO?!?!" You gasped once again "How many chapters did I miss?!?!" You noticed Nagi's features matured "He changed a lot.."

You researched on where to buy a ticket for the game and...

"Bingo!"

— Timeskip —

It was time of the game, and soon enough you arrived just in time, and as you were finding a place to sit, you saw someone selling jerseys. Then you saw a Jersey with Nagi's name on it.

You comfortably sat on a seat with Nagi's jersey. "This is cozy-" You surprisingly complimented.

There it was, the players came from from the inner gymnasium and you finally saw your white haired cutie "LET'S GO SHIRO!!!"

The person sitting next to you "Who are you supporting to?" "My boyfriend" You proudly said, they gave you a judging look but you didn't care. You were admiring Nagi from afar.

The game soon started and majority of the people where only cheering for U-20. "Why aren't they supporting Blue Lock?" You asked yourself.

The game was neck-to-neck, but then suddenly Nagi got the ball, and did an insane trick.

"Nice to meet you Japan. I'm Nagi Seishiro!" He kicked the ball and scored a goal for Blue Lock.

Everyone went silent, everyone was too stunned to speak even his teammates.

"Uhh— did I mess up introducing myself?"

Everyone cheered, the crowd goes wild. Blue Lock got up from their bench and cheered on, even U-20 was impressed by the skill Nagi has executed.

You went silent for a moment, as if everything blurred around you.

"That's your boyfriend right?" The person next to you interacted again. You couldn't respond because you were too focused on Nagi.

"Shiro... You've evolved..."

— Timeskip —

It was 3-3, it was tie and only 5 minutes. You were shivering, worried because the game was on the edge of the tightrope.

"Please please..." You manifested.

Suddenly one of Nagi's teammate berserked from the opposing teams blind spot, then he scored.

3-4

Blue Lock won..

Everyone cheered, the crowd went insane. You cried, you did not expect these two whole years, your boyfriend ghosted you because he was intensely training in Blue Lock.

"I'm so proud of you.. Shiro.."

— The next day —

Overnight, you finally decided what game you would develop, a soccer simulation. Where everyone can be a soccer player.

You fell asleep on your desk with the screen with full-brightness. Someone was knocking on your doorstep.

You were too tired to wake up so you didn't care about the knocking on the door, but you soon heard a key unlocking your door.

You wanted to check it out but your body was too heavy to sit up, you only had an hour sleep, because you were up all night developing the game.

You soon felt a kiss on the cheek, and was carried in bridal style. "Hmm.." You groaned "I'm home baby.." You heard a familiar soothing voice. "Hmm.." Is all you could answer.

As you woke up, you noticed you were already in bed, you swore you were sleeping on your computer desk. You saw a glass of milk and cookies on your side bed and Choki beside the food. "Choki?"

You soon turned to your computer desk, a fluffy white hair peeking out on your computer chair, doing some typing and clicking.

You tried to approach slowly, but he turned the chair immediately and pounced on you.

"SHIRO?!!" Both of you made a thug sound as you fell to the floor "Hi baby." Nagi was now on top of you. "I'm home." He calmly said as he laid on you. "GAH!! You're heavy, get off!" You cried.

He assisted you to sit up and suddenly kissed you "I missed you.." He pouted. "You literally ghosted me for 2 years you lazy ass." You rolled your eyes "I thought you never thought of me as lazy..."

"I'm mad at you. Hmph— HEY!" He carried you and led both of you to bed "I saw the game you developed, you knew huh?" He brushed your cheeks "Yeah, I watched your game yesterday, you did amazing out there"

"How did you know? I couldn't update you... Our phones were confiscated" You laughed "I KNEW IT!" You laughed again "I knew Blue Lock because the university I'm in were talking about it, you're literally the topic of the students" You chuckled.

"Oh how I missed your laugh..." He said as he snuggles himself in your body. "Even though you ghosted me for 2 years straight, I still waited for you.." You suddenly felt emotional. "I'm sorry for making you wait baby, how 'bout we snuggle the whole day straight?" He suggested. "But.. The game?"

"The game can wait, for now, I want you.. It's been so long since I scented you... I missed you so so much.." Nagi buried his face onto your chest, you simply chuckled.

"You physically changed, but you're still the Nagi Seishiro I know.." "I grew taller didn't I?" You both laughed "Yes you did Shiro.. Yes you did.."

You both fell asleep in that position, you indeed will be sleeping the whole day, after a chaotic week you just had.

End.

[iceman-kazansky]

Celebrations Together

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

Requested by: Anon

Request: Can you write an Ayrton senna fic which they’re both teammates and it’s just fluff between them and they’re dating

Pairings: Ayrton Senna x F!driver reader

Warnings: Kissing, nothing much just fluff

Word count: 690

A/n: This is really similar to a part of the Seb fic I wrote haha. Anyways, first fic of the new year!! Hope you enjoy, anon. Also, I’m experimenting with replacing the gifs usually featured at the top of my works for pictures or moodboards :)

Taglist: None. If you'd like to be tagged in my works, either ask in the comments or fill out this form !! :)

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

You were sweating hard, a sheen layer of moisture gathered on your brow beneath your balaclava and helmet and breath leaving you in low pants. The knowledge that each corner you took was bringing you closer to winning– to a championship– had you stressed yet excited. All you had to do was hold onto this position for a few more seconds–

Ahead, you could ses the chequered flag waving above the track barriers, white and black squares a blur. Your tires roared against the pavement, engine howling, wind rushing past you.

As you crossed the finish line in first place, you nearly burst with joy. Tears sprung to your eyes immediately.

The cool-down lap felt unreal. You were still in shock. Had you really just won a driver championship for yourself? The first woman in the sport to do so? As you pulled into the parc ferme, you scrambled out of your car in the Mclaren garage. A flash of a signature yellow helmet in your peripheral told you that Ayrton wasn’t far behind.

When you turned to look at him you shouted in joy and he was quick to join you. Together, you jumped around excitedly, his arms looped around your waist with your faces creased into broad smiles. You weren't sure which one of you did it but in a minute your lips were connected in a moment of pure joy.

“I did it!” You exclaimed, pulling away and voice bursting with delight, “I won!”

Ayrton had a wide smile present on his face. “You did it, meu amor!” He repeated, “Você é um campeão mundial!” [You are a world champion]

You smiled wider at his words. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes. Your team had gathered around you, cheers and the feeling of their congratulating shoulder pats overwhelming your system.

“Thank you guys,” you said, voice wobbly with emotion, “I mean it. I couldn't have done it without everyone.”

The Mclaren garage was teeming with bright joy. Smiles were present everywhere you looked. Everyone stood around, cheering for you. You, who had proven yourself to Mclaren and the world that you belonged here. You, who had proved that you were worthy of a seat and the investment. You, that had proved you could do everything male drivers could. You.

Eventually, you were forced to part with the team for the podium. You climbed the stairs to the walkway, waving to the crowd as you climbed onto your spot on the #1 spot. As you stood on display for the world to see, the booming sound of your national anthem began loudly in your ears, reminding you of your achievements. You were trying so hard to be strong, to not get emotional, but it was impossible. You had tears in your eyes as you stood with your face to the sky, letting your overwhelming joy smother you.

The champagne spray began shortly after the anthems had been played. Ayrton, who had secured himself a p2 popped open his bottle, the cork shooting off the top and white fizz running over his fingers like lava before he turned and began pelting you. Immediately, you turned your head away from the onslaught, fizz erupting from your own bottle as you directed your own defensive spray back at you. A wet splash against your back caused you to gasp, body tensing as a second spray of champagne hit you. As your bottles emptied, you laughed, the other podium members joining you.

Slowly, everyone filed off the balcony when the celebration came to an eventual end. After throwing a final wave to the crowd, Ayrton reached for your free hand tenderly as you walked off. “I love you, querida,” he murmured into your ear, pressing a kiss to your hair and squeezing your hand. “I could never be prouder of you.”

You smiled, turning to receive the kisses against your lips. The smile had scarcely disappeared from your face, and your cheeks were beginning to sting. Yet, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You were beyond happy with your achievements, and Ayrton being by your side to celebrate them made it infinitely better.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤? 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝!

ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ || ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ || ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

[zombeebunnie]

Happy New year: Future plans regarding Trembling Essence!

Hello guys, hope you all are having a wholesome happy new year so far! I want to start things fresh so here's what to expect:

Here's a TLDR if you want an easy summary: Game updates might be every two weeks - one month, the script for the game is being updated which includes removing some scrapped content to make sure the overall story gets a better opportunity to shine. I am also working on updating ko-fi/patreon + commissions.

Updates regarding Trembling Essence:

Game development posts: I enjoyed uploading weekly* updates during 2023/2024 but starting this year, I no longer have that much free time anymore. Depending on how everything goes updates might(?) be every two weeks to possibly 1 month(???). In lighter news it'll give myself time to process the script, answer asks, and miscellaneous things to avoid burn-out. :,] Script fixing: When I originally created this in January 2023, I was going for a survival horror-game. The 2023 demo isn't canon and I stopped referencing it since March/April 2023. Now that it has both horror and dating-sim elements I'm going over certain sections/new concepts and slowly adjusting them. The original lore isn't being changed but will be updated over time with my improved writing style and overall story telling. This also includes all the routes/paths that weren't in the [Extended Demo]. Scrapped content: I was extremely new to everything and when genuine interest was shown in what I've been creating, I got very ambitious . ((Those that have been here since the early days probably remember that one post I made about writing over 10+ routes.:,]))Now that I'm getting a better idea of what I truly want for the game, some content moving forward will be cut to make sure the true story gets a better opportunity to shine. :]

Other things that will be updated within the game:

UI/GUI update - I want to give the game a more distinctive theme. :]

CG update - Specifically fixing old art from the [Extended Demo].

Art Gallery - For CG collecting, future easter eggs etc.

Route update - Fixing paths and keeping them balanced.

Ending's update - Fixing endings to line up with new/changed content.

Kofi / Patreon: I talked about wanting to create a Patreon a long time ago and I really would like to create a monthly-tip jar / possible game credit perk for those that would like to support the development of the game, this is still a work in progress though. And speaking of Ko-fi, I had been asked about doing commissions in the past and I wasn't ready to accept any but I hope to take in a few to help out behind the scenes especially since the battery to my computer is still dead and I don't want to risk losing game progress again from it randomly shorting out like before. :,]

Sneak peak into next week's game development post:

I wanted to keep the development post separate from this so it wouldn't make this post super long but here's a vague look into how things being updated behind the scenes! :]

This is all I have to share so far, thank you guys for all of the continued support throughout 2024! I hope 2025 will be just as great if not better! :,D

[explodingchaos]

Whaaaaaat?? I’ve already been a year on tumblr?? Woah. That’s crazy.

But seriously, thank you for all the support you guys have given me. I never really expected too start posting art on here, but here I am. Posting art. I can’t wait to post more, and share more ideas hopefully (I have certain ideas I wanna draw and write, but jst haven’t found the time like always 😭). To this past year, and more to come 🎉

[whiskey-tango-matcha]

not to brag, but my therapist told me today that i did incredible during our emdr session, which means i get an A for the day in therapy, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve 🙂‍↕️😌

[admincourtneykissesgirls]

i drew (and headcanoned some of) people's courtneys. too out of it to tag the specific ppl these courtlets come from so if you see your courtlet say hi i guess? wanted to post this since i love this piece so much and i love seeing how people interpret concepts.

and a bonus featuring my own courtlet. thank you.

[twiixr4kidz]

wtf hey gang

you're never gonna guess who it is LMFAOAOAOAO

HELLO WORLD IM BACKKKKKKKKK sorry for not writing for a while............. i've been going thru some whack shit lately but i graduated a couple weeks ago so that's pretty awesome!! hopefully i'll actually be able to get back into the flow of writing cuz i have 60 somethin' asks that i've been neglecting since scott pilgrim takes off came out??

also please expect more ghost content because i saw rite here rite now last night (REALLY FUCKING GOOD BTW I CRODE) and i am very much back to my natural state of fixating on the ghouls

[bumblingbabooshka]

T’Pring Memes 

[mordsfesch]

"Maybe the amount of extraordinary things that happen in your life depends on what you notice."

[Which, of course, is easier when one is on vacation and happens to stay at one of the, imho, most beautiful places in existence]

[ikihtoe]

HELLO MY LOVES

it's been so long and I've finally got the time to get on this app omg I missed this place.

i have a few words for my mutuals in the tags so I hope you read it a bit at least—I've decided to post this because, idk sending them to you one by one is a bit time-wasting.

[inbabylontheywept]

The Motherfucking Lizard King

No one at work trusts my boss. 

He's smart. He works hard. He's not trustworthy. He hasn't actually fucked anyone at work over, but he's ruined his last two marriages with affairs, and got dumped by his third fiance when he wouldn't sign a prenup. The fact that we all know this is just a hazard of working in a small town. 

Anyway: The thought process of the people in the lab is that if he screwed over his first wife, and his second wife, and was probably planning on screwing over his third wife, it would be insane for him not to screw us over. After all, what kind of idiot treats their employees better than their spouse? 

I dunno. His kind, I guess? He's had a few chances to fuck us over, and he hasn't taken them. Opposite really. When our parent company was doing furloughs, he stayed in the office almost a hundred hours, talking and talking and talking his way up the corporate ladder. And in the end, no one at our site got furloughed. 

He's pulled strings like that before. And it baffles me, right? Because it really does make zero sense. He'll move the heavens and the earth for us, but his wife and kids are afterthoughts. It feels like any moment, he's going to look into the mirror and realize how stupid that is. It feels like I'm betting on him making the same stupid mistake again, and again, and again - like it would be less cynical to believe he was, eventually, going to stab me in the back. But he hasn't yet, and as far as I can tell he's been making that mistake for close to fifteen years, and it's already cost him everything it can. If he was going to learn, he would have by now. 

So my position on him is that if he wanted to date someone I cared about, I'd warn them off. I don't trust him there. But I tentatively trust him to be my boss. Maybe one day he'll stick the knife in and twist, and everyone will say Ah, Babs, we warned you, but for now, I accept that he's doing a very predictable, very irrational thing, and I've made my peace with it. 

---

My job has glue traps. 

No one likes the glue traps, but we don't have a lot of options. Poison's banned by state law, spring traps are banned by company safety, and several non-lethal options tried in the past failed to work. The mouse problem can get pretty bad if it's ignored, and there's some real health hazards in that. Our site has never had a positive hantavirus test, thank God, but the big base about a half hour away has. That guy's gonna be on oxygen the rest of his life. 

If a mouse gets caught, we just euthanize it. But more than mice get stuck. Lizards can wander into those traps too, and the people working there have different feelings about the lizards. They don't pose nearly the same kind of risk mice do. They're chill little guys, and they keep the moths away, and they're just 

You know. They're friendly. There's something to be said about walking into a room, and hitting the light switch, and seeing two little guys on the wall start to do pushups as soon as they see you. 

People used to just euthanize the lizards too, but I had pet leopard geckos as a kid and I couldn't take that so I wound up googling how to free animals from glue traps. Now, when a lizard gets stuck in a trap - which happens once or twice a week - I get some vegetable oil from the breakroom, and a little plastic fork, and I'll spend fifteen to twenty minutes just kind of gently prying the little guys out. 

I have a team of technicians that help me operate one of the larger machines. They're real blue collar guys, ex-airforce, and they make me look like a little kid. Being an engineer means they'll look to me as a leader sometimes, which is a wild experience. And I started helping the lizards for my own conscience, but one of the crazier consequences of it has been that it seriously boosted my leadership cred. Because those guys see me, and they go: Hey. If he's willing to fight for a lizard, he's gotta be willing to fight for me. 

I cannot overstate how nice that is. Most engineers that want to make a change to a maintenance practice, or try an upgrade, they have to work their asses off to get the techs to buy in. But I can just ask. They already trust me to do good. They know I'm new, and they know I'm not the smartest engineer in the building, but they also know I'm the one who gets lizards out of the glue traps. 

And just because of that, they're willing to follow me. 

---

My boss has a meeting every month or two. It's typically basic house cleaning stuff - reminders about routines we've gotten lazy on, and updates on future projects. Maybe some warnings about problems coming from higher up in the company.

People are, in my opinion, a bit too cynical about the meetings. It stems from people not trusting our boss, which again, I understand, because it would make so much more sense if he wasn't trustworthy. It's a testament to the man's incredibly unhealthy priorities that he is. But as we made it to the end of the meeting, one of bullet points was: 

Do NOT mess with animals in the building. 

So I looked at my techs, and they looked at me, and when he got to the point, he was so scathing I actually just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. He said basically that he'd heard some reports about someone in the building handling animals that found their way in and got stuck, and that he just wanted to emphasize how insanely inappropriate that was, not to mention dangerous, and that if he needed to speak to anyone about it again, there would be severe consequences. 

I was willing to just take the shame and move on. I was. But one of my techs is old. Old enough he could've retired two years ago. And his actual literal goal is to one day get angry, yell at someone, and storm out. That's how he wants to retire. So instead of biting his tongue like everyone else, he stood up and said: I hate the glue traps. You hate the glue traps. We all hate glue traps. But we've all sat here for years, ignoring the little things that get stuck in them, watching them die, and then Bab's comes in, and he is the first person in decades to give enough of a shit to start pulling the lizards out. And I don't want him to stop. 

Get humane traps or shut up but we are not going back to the old way of just letting things starve. 

And my boss actually froze up. He got all wide eyed and stared at Marc, and then the other techs jumped in, and there was a very small but intense rebellion in the meeting and my boss kept trying to interrupt while getting absolutely bowled over by this gang of angry middle aged air force vets, and eventually he just went 

I will speak with Babylon about this afterwards! After! And then he will speak with everyone else, but I have more points to cover. 

So they went silent, and my boss rushed through the last five minutes, and we all adjounred. The techs really didn't like that I was going in alone - they thought our boss was going to try and shout me into compliance. Marc in particular was like, Look, if he tries bullying you, stand your ground, and if he threatens anything, just come get us, and we'll give him hell. 

So armed with that, I went to my boss's office. I sat in the chair across from him, and he kept his composure for maybe five seconds before just flopping back into his chair. 

I had no idea you were saving lizards, he said, but I'm glad you are. I always hated seeing them die in the glue.  

I wasn't expecting that. I was about to ask him what the comment from the meeting was about then, but he answered that before I even got the chance.

A snake got into the building last week, and - someone picked it up and chased a coworker around. Turns out that coworker was severely afraid of snakes, and now it's a shitshow. We're a small site, and now I can't ask those two to work together anymore, to say nothing about how the snake fared after all that. Being upset about that is a reasonable thing, right? 

And he gave me a look like he actually wanted an answer, so I said Yeah, totally, chasing a coworker around with a snake is a dick move. Especially if that coworker is already afraid of snakes. 

And he said Exactly! and then we sat there a few moments longer. He looked so incredibly tired that I did, actually, feel kind of bad for him. And then he somehow managed to sink even further into his chair, and said

Look, I know I'm not a good guy. But I'm not evil. I'm not some sort of crazy asshole that's going to demand that everyone watch lizards starve to death. When you go back downstairs, could you try to pass that on? That I'm not evil? 

I said Sure because it wasn't a hard request, and he looked relieved. I actually made it halfway out before I realized I had a question. 

Who grabbed the snake? I asked. 

Not supposed to talk about it, he said. But whoever comes to mind first is probably right. 

ThatGuy? I asked. And he looked me in the face, nodded his head yes, and said No. 

---

The techs seemed a little disappointed that they didn't get to storm the boss's office, but were otherwise in good spirits. They were actually a little bit embarrassed to hear about the snake story - apparently, it wasn't much of a secret. It'd just slipped their minds because it happened three weeks ago. 

We did maintenance after that, the same basic repairs we did every week. The meeting had been stressful and it was a relief to work with my hands. When the parts were reinstalled, everything cleaned and smooth and ready to go, Marc found me again. 

You know what the lesson of today is? he asked. And there were quite a few answers to that that I could have taken - from don't assume the worst of people to be careful with how you spend your trust - we all need it more than we think. 

But instead I said what? because I wanted to hear what his answer was going to be. 

That I got your back, he said. Then he clapped one very, very large hand on my shoulder, gave it a good squeeze, and walked back to dosimetry lab.

---

The next day, Marc gave me a package and told me to open it in my office. I was suspicious, but I followed the request.

Cardboard gave way to a small baggie, obviously full of fabric, which opened to reveal a t-shirt that read

"I Am the Motherfucking Lizard King."

I looked at it, I loved it, and then I got an idea. I went to my boss's office and knocked on the door. When he opened it, I asked him if he would be willing to allow something very unprofessional to happen for morale building purposes.

How unprofessional? he asked. I held the shirt up in answer. He gave the shirt a short look over and snorted.

You can wear it on weeks without customers, he said. Which just so happened to include that week.

I'll pass on that it came with your blessing, I replied, and he looked oddly relieved.

Thanks, he said. And then I went downstairs.

---

The techs were very, very happy to see the shirt. And while my boss's reputation remains in tatters, and probably will be until he moves (or dies), the next time there was a meeting, there was quite a bit less complaining about how mere presence. Which is, I guess, a start.

We'll see if he squanders it.

[strikersin]

If my Actual Real Life Father saw this blog I wouldn't even be able to die. I would just live. LOL. At that point I guess we have different things to worry about .

But I can see his confused and perplexuated reaction . Haha. It's actually cute